


Just Say Goodnight

by anyapie



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Doctor Erwin Smith, F/M, Fluff, Rebirth, Sexual Tension, Twoshot, Universe Alteration, cuddling on hospital beds, jealous!Mikasa, just sexual tension, levikasa, levimika - Freeform, no sex tho sorry, okay i am not sure if it's fluff, okay wait idk anymore, poet!Levi, rivamika, singing in hospitals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-23
Updated: 2014-06-26
Packaged: 2018-02-05 20:17:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 22,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1830958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anyapie/pseuds/anyapie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Levi, in his opinion, lived in a rather dull and boring life. He demanded living in another way, taking up a challenge on that. As if he made his wish, Levi was cornered and killed by Kenny and his gang. The guardian of the gates of heaven took pity on him, giving him a task to save a girl who wants to commit suicide on earth if he wants to go to heaven. Will they meet each other in hell instead?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Undone

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is actually intended to be published last June 18, Day 4 of the RivaMika Week on Tumblr. To be honest, I didn't really expect it to be _this_ long and I decided to make it a twoshot instead of a oneshot because of the word content. This will only have two chapters, as I have limited the words. And also, this is purely fictional, inspired by the movie Constantine.  
>  I would just like to thank my bby, [Susu](http://swag-chou.tumblr.com) for supporting me and beta reading this work. c: Rated M for language.
> 
> [140825] UPDATE: Thank you so much to [Yunashii](http://yunashii.tumblr.com) for the awesome fanart <3 Yep, she drew me a scene which you can find [here](http://yunashii.tumblr.com/post/95370934192/happy-birthday-to-anyapie-piece-ive-drawn-for). Go follow her on Tumblr! She has awesome drawings of RivaMika. And to those who gave their precious time to read this, I just wanna say thank you very much. Lots of love~!

RMW Day 4//Daffodils/Narcissus (Levi's birth flower)

 **Title:** Just Say Goodnight.

* * *

 

_Where am I?_

 

Darkness. It's all that Levi can see when he opens his eyes. Trying to remember where he was and what he was doing before he woke up in the abyss of darkness, he brought his hands to his head, closing his eyes shut and gritting his teeth.

 

"Levi."

 

A voice came from nowhere, startling him as he desperately looked at everywhere to find the source despite the darkness.

 

"Levi. Don't be afraid."

 

"Who are you?" Levi asked, as he hated his own shaky voice.

 

"I'm the guardian from the heavens, and you just died, Levi."

 

 _Died?_ And at that, everything just came back into his mind; the old factory. The place full of nothing but junks as he took a cigarette and lit it up, sitting on one of the wooden boxes that was full of dust awhile ago — he cleaned it with a dirty rug he found on the floor, cursing at the same time — while he waits for time to pass by.

 

He was bored and angry; he demanded living another life up in the heavens as he brought the cigarette that he held between his fore and middle finger to his dry lips. He didn't had any permanent job - no, it wasn't his fault and he was never fired, but instead, he chooses to quit after some time and finds another one — because he wanted to try almost anything, wanting to see if it will give him contentment. He lived alone in his dull apartment and didn't really like inviting friends to come over and have fun - he never really had permanent friends, keeping only at least less than ten who he really trusted. Indeed, he had many acquaintances — or rather, connections — to different kinds of bars and clubs where he could have fun, but he knew that none of them will stay enough to handle the real him. He tried different kinds of whatever back in his teenage days, so he really had a lot of experience that he put to use in order to live, at the same time, looking for something he could meddle with. Having experienced a lot, he still couldn't find something fun and unordinary. Taking a challenge is what he likes to do, since he finds them entertaining enough, adding spices to his rather, uninteresting life. As he thought about what would happen if he did this and that instead of just choosing "this" path, he heard something from outside.

 

Levi finished his cigarette — throwing the object to the ground and stepping on it - as he stood up, ready to take his leave. As he walked towards the exit, he saw a guy that he knew all too well — and he wasn't alone, he was with a lot of people, probably his gang - making Levi stop on his tracks, making him suddenly nervous. He was slowly surrounded, as the man who stood tall in front of him adjusted his hat to get a clearer view.

 

"Well, well, well. Look who we have here," the man spoke, sarcasm masking his irritated voice as he flashes a fake smile. "Levi. Long time no see."

 

Levi kept his guard up, alerting all his nerves, preparing for anything that might happen. The people surrounding him slowly took out their weapons; guns, bats - anything used to hurt someone - and hey, did he just saw a taser? "Kenny," he said in a cool voice, meeting with his glare.

 

"I don't want to keep this long, Levi," the man in front of him spat, sighing heavily. "You haven't paid your debt yet," he said in a hard tone, hissing through his teeth. "You know I don't do waiting for a long time."

 

It was something that Levi had regretted after a long while, the temporary fun and excitement betraying him. He flinched, hating himself that he got too drunk and high to bet more than he could handle with this man a few months back - he was another reason why he moved from city to city thrice. Levi thought that he could pay for it, losing himself on the fun that gave him euphoria from the card game he had with Kenny. It was another challenge that he took, and it seems that the odds weren't in his favor during those times. Well, it was on his side for a few games but completely left him hanging in the air after awhile.

 

Kenny was bad news to him, and now he's here in front of him to collect his money, - shit, he never really reached that amount of money and he thought of paying that debt was easy to escape from like the others — bringing his whole gang to prevent Levi from escaping again.

 

"Oh, wait up. You never really had the ability to pay for it, huh, Levi? I knew I shouldn't have risked it for you, but no, you were fun to play with," Kenny took a few strides, clasping his hands behind his back. "And plus," he took something out of his pocket, "I needed an excuse to do satisfy my need for violence."

 

"Still the sadistic old man, Kenny? Looks like you haven't found a new bitch to fuck just yet. Then, I remembered, there are a lot of gold-digging whores," he managed to say despite the lump rising from his throat; he knew that he has no escape, but he wasn't going to give up without a brawl.

 

"Tsk, tsk, tsk." Kenny kept his hand on the pocket from his black jacket, the other one scratching his chin. "Levi. I won't make this long for the both of us. Do you have any last words?" He smiled wickedly then, flashing his yellowish teeth.

 

"Fuck you," Levi spat from the side, glaring at everyone as he took a deep breath.

 

"Good bye, Levi." And at that, Kenny gave the go signal.

 

After of what seems like an eternity of fighting, — taking and giving pain — Levi dropped on all four, panting and gasping for air as blood dripped from his forehead, nose, mouth and some parts of his arms and legs — he didn't see that some of them possessed a katana, which he finds ridiculous — making him weak. There are still a lot of them remaining, and by then, he knew that it was his end. He didn't have enough energy to speak as they tied his hands from his back, the rope tight on his skin. Breathing was difficult already — he knows he may have broken ribs, both of his mouth and nose are bleeding from the onslaught — so he wasn't able to do anything but lift his head to look at Kenny, who was now an inch or two away from him. The other man grabbed his jaw before sinking into one knee, faking a worried and sorry expression from his aged face.

 

"Levi," he began, "I should have offered you to work for me instead. But nope, you ran away from me, and that made me angry."

 

"Tch. My answer would be no," he replied in shaky voice, whispering the last sentence.

 

"Is working for me shitty? Well, here's my last words for you, shorty: So long. And I hope you find a good woman in hell." Kenny took out the gun from his pocket, placing the end on his chest, right to his heart.

 

The last thing that he saw was Kenny's big smile, as if contented that he finally brought an end to his boring life. After that, he woke up from the dark abyss, making it pointless to even open his eyes to look for light. But he had hoped, deep in his heart that he could find light in this empty space.

 

Levi cursed under his breath, clenching his hands into a fist. He regretted everything with Kenny, hating how he pushed himself to his own destruction. There was no escape in this place, and he was actually — yes, it's been awhile since he felt this way — afraid.

 

"So, is this hell?"

 

"No. Not yet," the voice replied, sounding certain. "But you soon will see hell, if you don't want to go to heaven."

 

 _Heaven?_ He never was a religious person to begin with, and heaven was something that he would snicker about. When he was younger, he believed in heaven and he yearned to reach it, understanding that the world he is living in is already hell. But as time went by, his dream was left at that - a dream. Right now, that old dream that had hidden itself from the bottom of his heart crept its way up, topping everything, including his fear. He wanted to go and see heaven; he wanted to stay in that paradise. Living in the cruel world which he called hell is not very pleasant, and he was sick and tired of it already.

 

"I-" Levi stuttered, unsure of what to say. He wrestled with his jiggled mind, struggling for the right words to say. He was afraid that if he says something wrong, he'll be thrown away into somewhere he doesn't want to be. "I want to go to heaven," was all that he could manage, swallowing as he finished the sentence.

 

"Then I have a job for you," the solemn voice replied. Levi couldn't really tell if the voice was pleased or not. "You will return to earth and live another life. You must find this person who wants to commit suicide; find them and change their mind before it's too late."

 

Hearing the job that he has to do, Levi thought that it was a stupid thing to end your own life. He felt like he's not fit to do the job since interacting with other people is like a chore he has to finish. But he didn't have any other choice to go to heaven now, did he?

 

"How will I know it's them?" Levi asked.

 

"When you see them, you will know. That person is famous in earth after all."

 

The voice was already giving him a hint; if they are famous, he will most probably look for public servants, models and whatever occupation that exposes them to the public eye. Maybe he can finish this job.

 

"Alright," the short man said. He has already decided.

 

"However," at that word, Levi felt a chill run down his spine. "You only have a time limit. Not only that, but because you're a heavy smoker, you will walk on earth with crappy lungs. You only have four weeks, Levi."

 

 

"If you succeed, I can accept you in heaven. If not, I'm sorry."

 

Having an empty mind isn't something that happens to Levi. There's always something going on his head. This time, it's different and he can't process anything right now.

 

"Go, Levi. You will wake up in the same city she is in. Finding her is easy, but earning her trust and convincing her is hard. Bless you."

 

Levi abruptly snapped open his eyes, feeling the sweat that formed on his forehead. He blinked twice, thrice, taking in his surroundings. It looks like he woke up in an apartment, and from how he feels as his eyes lingered on every corner of the place, he feels home. He stood up slowly, as his gaze dropped on the closed window and the view outside. Buildings and large electricity posts can be seen just from outside, grey clouds covering the sky. He could hear the faint sound of the engine from the cars that passed by.

 

After a few minutes of familiarizing himself with his small — but surprisingly and thankfully clean, and that made him smile to himself — apartment, he went to the kitchen to inspect if he was lucky enough to have food. A frown formed from his lips as soon as he opened his fridge, finding nothing but an empty water bottle. Maybe it was too much if the guardian gave him food. Sighing, he took the empty water bottle with his left and closed the door with his right. He filled it with water using the faucet of the kitchen sink, drinking large amounts before filling it again, opening the refrigerator door and closing it. When he closed, he was surprised to see a note taped into the door: "Go get a job and make use of that second life."

 

With that, Levi gave a sigh before feeling his lips quirk up in a smile. _What a challenge._

 

\-----------------------------------------------

 

Levi got a job as a bartender at a bar not far from where he lives. The money is enough for his expenses alone and he still smoked despite the warning that he has lung cancer. He doesn’t feel any different than from his past, and he was still addicted to it after all. The bar where he works is a good place to stay, he had to admit. It wasn’t all too shabby either.

 

And for tonight — after three days when he came back to Earth — he was glad that he was working, because he finally saw that person who he has to save. And really, it didn’t surprise him that much to know that she was indeed, famous, but he was surprised to see how beautiful this lost soul is in person. She was on their stage, sitting on a small bar stool as she held the mic stand and the microphone itself with her delicate looking hands. Golden lights shine on her hair, reflecting a raven color from them. Her eyes, they hide something from the world that only she knows, and if one isn’t observant enough, they wouldn’t know how much pain she was hiding from them. She was wearing a simple, v-neck orange sweater with two red stripes decorated from the chest and her breasts, dark blue skinny jeans, dark grey rubber shoes and thin bracelet hanging on her left wrist as an accessory. She wore a brown jacket when she arrived, removing them only when the crowd begged and ushered her to sing even just one song for them. In fact, the crowd seemed like they didn’t mind that she was there.

 

After finishing two songs, — the crowd cheered and picked a choice for the first song, the second one was her decision — the girl stood up, grabbing the mic as she did. “People, please don’t go telling your friends that I’m here. Please. I’m just trying to have a good time and this bar seems like the place I could escape to. Thank you,” she smiled, but her voice was near from pleading than just asking a favor. She bowed when the audience clapped and agreed, smiling more as she returned the mic from its place and made her way towards the place where Levi was.

 

She sat in front of Levi after retrieving her jacket, placing it on her lap as she eyed him. Their eyes met, and from there, he knew. He had a strong feeling as soon as he stepped inside for his shift and that feeling is now stronger when she stepped in. He could feel his heart twist in a gentle way and he had to compose himself.

 

“What could I get you, Miss?” he asked casually.

 

“Gin and tonic, please,” she replied, her smile now gone as she did.

 

He went to get her drink, thinking what kind of approach he will use to get her to talking. This isn’t really easy for him, since he felt like he should be talking to her a lot and he had to endure it all. But remembering his purpose had him going anyway. He returned and placed the gin in front of her, watching her take a large swing. She really does seem unhappy.

 

“I don’t mean to poke into your life, but why do I feel like you’re not just sad?”

 

The question caught her of guard. She used her talent when it comes to acting in front of a lot of people, even when she asked them a favor before stepping down from the stage. She was convinced that she sounded cheerful enough but how come this guy wasn’t? Was it only her who was convinced that she was happy on the outside? Or maybe because she chose a gloomy song back on stage?

 

“What do you mean?” She was curious now, raising her barriers more.

 

“If I tell you, you may find me creepy and maybe you’ll leave on the spot. And that isn’t a good thing for me since my manager is here tonight,” he replied in monotone voice, making it hard for her to figure out if he was messing with her or not.

 

But she is curious, so she pressed him more, telling him that she has no intention of leaving quickly. She licked her lips as she studied his face and structure, noticing his short height.

 

“I can see it in your eyes,” he said simply, looking at her directly in the eye to let her know that he was telling the truth. “They hold a lot of secrets but they look like they won’t hold on much long.” And for the record, she felt him being sincere with his words.

 

She continued to stare at him as she drank her gin again, trying to think if she was being played with this guy or not. A lot of men wanted her attention and she never really thought about returning their admiration for her. The reason why she went into this small bar is because she _was_ trying to escape from the reality of her own world. Having that argument with her manager, that misunderstanding with Eren and a lot of appointments really pushed her off the edge. So she took her credit card and a few cash, tucking them in her pockets, and bringing the hood to her face as she set off to walk. She didn’t really know where she was going either; she just wanted to get out of the pressure, even just for one night. She tried hard not to cry, biting back her lower lip as she tried and calm herself.

 

Seeing this bar was a good choice after all, because even though she still sang in front of the audience, the ambience of the bar was relaxing her brain. Well, not entirely but even just a tiny bit is enough. She didn’t seem to mind trying out new things for tonight. This man in front of her, the one who served her gin, lit something up from deep in her. Yes, he was a complete stranger but there’s something in him that she finds interesting. And for some reason she couldn’t put a finger on, she wanted to have a normal conversation with this stranger too.

 

“Are you one of my fans?” She scoffed, making it sound like a joke. “Or maybe a stalker?”

 

“Tch. You wish,” he rolled his eyes at that, adding, “I was never one of your fans nor did I listen to your genre.”

 

At that, Mikasa felt a sudden bubble of irritation inside her. But she slapped it back inside her, letting her mind control everything as long as it still can. And besides, she knew that not everyone liked her, that includes him. It’s alright if he didn’t like the genre of the music she sings, as long as he doesn’t hate her, right?

 

“But,” Levi interrupted her thoughts, “I do admit that I like your voice. The way you sang the lyrics, it feels like you’re coating each word with honey. ” There’s something in his voice that made her blush at his compliment. Yes, there have been countless compliments she heard from different people, and they were indeed pleasing, but this one made her feel… special.

 

Who is this stranger that he just bought gin and tonic from? She’ll have to ask for his name later before she leaves – and she will make sure to memorize it. “T-thank you.” Why did she stutter? She wished she brought her scarf with her, but she just wanted out of her condo unit after that yelling and shit from Rico.

 

“Can I get you another drink?”

 

“Yes, please.” She pushed her glass to him as he reached out to take it from her, their fingers brushing against each other and she softly gasped as she felt something foreign run through her veins. She peeked up on him from her lashes as he fixed her drink once again, feeling a little bit shy.

 

Levi slid her glass in front of her, her hands catching it. “Is it legal to talk to you for the whole night?” She asked him, smirking as she did so. “If not, maybe I can hire you from your manager.”

 

Levi chuckled at that, making her smirk turn into a full grin. “It’s alright, and don’t make it sound like its some business talking to you. Do I have to sign a fucking NDA contract?” It was his turn to joke around.

 

“Maybe.” She shrugged, taking a drink.

 

“Spill the beans, woman.” Seeing her drinking gin again got him an idea. If only he could be sociable and comforting enough, he could make her drink more alcohol. Maybe she’s one of those women that talk a lot when drunk.

 

“Alright then.”

 

The evening at the bar turned to be alright for the both of them. Mikasa, for the first time, spilled almost everything to this complete stranger she felt comfortable with in just a few hours. He kept on refilling her drink, making her world spin slightly. Despite the faint throb she was feeling on her head, she had to admit that she enjoyed the company of this man. Yes, it was probably wrong to trust a complete stranger so suddenly, but she was giving way for her emotions, feeling a little bit relieved after storing them inside her for a long time. She checked the time on that clock that was just above the shelves where different cocktails are kept; its two fifty-one in the morning. There aren’t really much people now; in fact, as she looked around, she noticed that it’s just her left inside.

 

“Oh, I didn’t notice the time,” she told him, her eyelids suddenly feeling heavy.

 

“I didn’t either. The bar closes at three. Should I call you a cab?” He asked her, suddenly feeling worried and at the same time, annoyed. She didn’t mention about she was thinking of killing herself, but at least he knows what she’s been through. Mostly, it’s just about her career and manager, but not totally her personal life.

 

“No. I don’t wanna go back home,” she slurred on the words, an evidence that she was drunk and that she needed help with walking.

 

“Where will you stay?”

 

“Anywhere but home. Can I stay at your place?” She stood up, her hands gripping the ends of the counter.

 

Mikasa suddenly felt that everything was tilting so she sat back from her seat again, muttering a curse under her breath.

 

“Stay there, I’ll get you some water.” Getting her drunk was the idea but getting her too drunk is not necessary, and now he has to babysit her. Great.

 

At four-eleven, they were in his apartment. As they walked from the bar to Levi’s place, he had an arm around her waist to help her walk since she refused to be carried. They both knew that Mikasa would most probably throw up if it weren’t for the slow walk they had on the quiet, deserted, cold streets.

 

“So this is your place,” she commented, taking a look at her surroundings. “It’s clean.”

 

“I don’t like dirty.” He scooped her up and he was glad that she didn’t protest, being cooperative enough by slinging her arms around his neck as he walked her to his bedroom.

 

“You’re strong for your height,” she giggled and he rolled his eyes, thanking the darkness for hiding their faces.

 

He dropped her to his bed, kneeling down on a knee as he took off her shoes in swift moves. “You don’t like dirty, eh? Too bad I’m a filthy girl.” Mikasa said playfully, her words soft and seductive ad she tilted her head to the side, flashing him a grin. And damn, Levi felt his cock twitch. She was drunk for fuck’s sake, and it was his fault. Tolerating drunk people wasn’t one of his to do list when he was living in his previous life but this girl right here, lying on his bed, seem to add it to his list. He stood up and he can hear her peaceful breathing, taking it that she was fast asleep.

 

He looked for his cigarette and lit it up, puffing smoke from his living room. Thinking about the things that he shared with her, he somehow got the idea why deep inside, she wants to take her own life. During their conversation, he just let her talk, encouraged her to cry for a while and then pulling her back from breaking. Despite the fame and riches, the success and wealth, Mikasa Ackerman was an unhappy little girl. She lacked love and affection, of acceptance and rest. She finds her life with no meaning, just like he did before dying. Her story is a little bit much common, but she was his hope to heaven anyway. He had to admit, that he found himself comfortable talking to her, making him listen with eagerness and interest at the same time. Maybe she wasn’t so bad after all.

 

Levi coughed loudly, his cigarette dropping to the glass coffee table in front of him as he stood up and ran into the kitchen sink, spitting. He wasn’t really shocked when he saw blood — he was already warned — so after coughing more, he rinsed the blood from his sink. He went back to his bedroom to check on Mikasa — he crushed the end of his cigarette before walking to his room — finding the bathroom door open. He can hear her puking, and he let out a sigh because he knows that it will be another extra chore for him.

 

He went inside the bathroom, finding her gripping the sides of the toilet bowl as she spit for one last time. Levi helped her with reaching for the water and had her mouth cleaned. He pulled her to the chair he placed on the side of the sink, making her sit.

 

“Take off your clothes,” he said. He saw that her eyes are closed and she looks beat. He had to repeat it again and he shook her shoulder to wake her up. Mikasa managed to remove her sweatshirt but it’s all that she could manage. “You take them off,” she mumbled.

 

There was no helping it. Levi had to undress her himself — and he did. She didn’t seem to mind because she was really sleepy and didn’t care about the world. It was indeed a mistake to getting her too drunk. Levi carried her to bed again, pulled one of his shirt that hanged from his closet and bunched it into her head as she helped herself with her arms. She was on his bed with his shirt and her panties, arms stretched out and her long, slender legs slightly open. She was a view that he had to keep himself away from, but not after lingering his eyes to the figure that he has on his bed.

 

Mustering up all of his self-control, he went back to his bathroom to clean up and the mess and washed her clothes.

 

\-----------------------------------------------

 

“Ah, you’re awake. And why—“

 

“Shit. Am I still a virgin?”

 

He stopped walking immediately as soon as he heard the question. Levi studied her quickly, her flushed face catching his attention. There isn’t really much to see since she was covering her whole body with the white blanket up to her neck as she was in a sitting position, except for her beautiful morning face and her unruly hair. He had to swallow in order to speak.

 

“You’re still a virgin?” He sounded surprised.

 

They looked at each other for a minute before Mikasa brought her hands up to her face. She had just blurted out something that she shouldn’t have and now he knows. Will he laugh at her? She prayed that it will be just between them.

 

“Just get up and eat. I cooked you some bacon and eggs,” Levi said, turning his back to her as he exited his bedroom, closing the door behind him. As soon as he was out, Mikasa sank back to his bed, bringing the covers up to her head. But hiding wasn’t her option and it isn’t such a good idea. She remembers about last night and she had fun with it, but now she was scolding herself for her irresponsible behavior. She had trusted a stranger she just met last night on a bar! Mikasa couldn’t help but think if he was really a bad guy or a good guy. She threw the covers, sitting up abruptly but stopped from her musing when she saw a glass of water and two Advils on the night stand. Seeing them actually told her that he wasn’t such a bad guy after all.

 

She desperately searched the room for her jeans and shirt but she couldn’t find them so she had to present herself with a t-shirt and panties. It was embarrassing for her indeed, but she had no other choice and despite the fact that she was shy, she didn’t feel scared. So Mikasa opened the bedroom door, stepped outside and walked towards the table where food was served. He was sitting on the end, drinking his tea – on a late morning and early lunch meal — but stopped when he saw her. His eyes darting from her head to her toe, slowly traveling down and she felt exposed. She walked towards the table and sat beside him, busying herself with the food in front of her, ignoring the heat that crept from her cheeks.

 

“Your clothes are over there,” Levi sideeyed the sofa from his right. Her head followed. “I had to clean them since they got dirty when you threw up.”

 

“Oh.” _When I threw up._ “Thank you.”

 

“You’re welcome.”

 

Silence followed, but both of them were stealing glances for the other, giving smiles whenever they get caught. The silence wasn’t completely unwelcomed, and in fact, it brought them peace.

 

“Hey. Uhm—“ Mikasa started, staring down at her plate with a bread and two bacons. “I haven’t really asked for your name yet.”

 

“No, you haven’t.”

 

“So should I call you ‘shorty’ then? She snapped, sounding sarcastic.

 

“What the fuck, woman? It’s Levi.” He glared at her, tapping his fingers on the table.

 

“Okay, Levi. After I get dressed, I’ll have to leave,” she sounded hesitant but he didn’t say anything, just a nod from his head.

 

“Just finish your food,” he added, licking his lips and wiping his mouth with a tissue that was placed on the table.

 

“ _Levi._ ” Mikasa tested the word with her mouth, liking the way her tongue touched the back of her front teeth as she pronounced first syllable and the way that her bottom lip brushed against her incisor as the last syllable followed.

 

“What?”

 

“Nothing. I just like your name.” Picking up her tea set in front of her, she smiled but never looked at him.

 

He snorted at that, rewarding himself a giggle from the girl he is with. Instead of frowning because of a childish — and rather, selfish — remark, he almost smiled to himself. He had to admit though; it was a lovely sound that echoed his apartment. He wouldn’t mind taking one again. And he was surprised, to actually catch himself hoping that she would visit the bar soon for more pleasing surprises.

 

\-----------------------------------------------

 

“Mikasa!” A familiar voice called to her.

 

“Christa?” Mikasa smiled at the sight of her friend. It lightened her mood to know that it won’t be just her and Rico attending the meeting for the next movie project. Eren’s there with them as well, but they weren’t really talking.

 

“Heeey,” Christa hugged her, blonde locks brushing her shoulders. “If I’m going to work with you again, this could be more fun.”

 

“Yeah, it will be.”

 

The little blonde girl took a seat beside her, looking really beautiful. “I heard you went somewhere Rico didn’t know. And that argument, heck, what happened? Are you and Eren okay?”

 

The raven haired girl sighed and rolled her eyes as she spoke, “Oh, who told you? Is it Jean?”

 

“Yes. And you know news about you flies freely.”

 

“Well,” she started. “It’s about Eren. He hasn’t proposed to me yet, Christa. You know it’ll almost be two years. I can tell that he doesn’t really want to.” She shrugged, her face falling.

 

“I told you that you should have really thought about it when you two started dating,” Christa told her friend, her eyebrows furrowing. “Because I can tell that he was only forced.”

 

Mikasa flinched. _Forced?_ She wanted to snort at the thought. But deep inside, she has already proven this to herself.

 

“And,” Christa added, “I can really tell he digs Annie.” She grabbed Mikasa’s shoulder with both of her hands as she stated her opinion, meeting her eyes. “Mikasa, move on.”

 

“But I love him.”

 

“Rethink it. Think about it hard,” she glanced over to Eren’s direction, who was busy talking to Armin. “I don’t mean to hurt you, and I know that this is an inappropriate place to say this, but don’t you think he doesn’t feel the same way?”

 

“Okay, is everyone here?” An old man with a bald head spoke, clearing his throat and scanned the area. It’s Director Keith Shadis.

 

“We’ll talk later.” Mikasa whispered to Christa, squeezing her hand.

 

Director Shadis checked if everybody were present, giving a nod when they all were. He explained the movie that they were going to film, nodding to Mikasa and Eren as he acknowledged their relationship. He explained that they could say no if they don’t want to be a part of the movie. As the director explained, Mikasa was stealing glances from Eren to Annie. They were sitting together; Annie’s attention was glued to the director but Eren didn’t seem like he was completely listening.

 

“And then, if they would agree to work with this, I would like to request that Mikasa and Eren sing together for a scene,” the director said.

 

“It’s alright, “ Mikasa said, looking at Eren like the others as if they were all waiting for his reply.

 

“Can’t I do it with someone else?” Eren smiled, but he was nervous. Mikasa wanted to flinch but she felt Christa’s hand over hers, squeezing them slightly.

 

“Who?”

 

“Annie,” he said, glancing at her from his side, smiling as he did.

 

And that was enough to make Mikasa mad. She had to hide it though, because all eyes are turned to her now and if she shows them her mood now, they would think that she’s a selfish little girl. Yes, she’s being selfish but she had a valid reason, right?

 

“It’s alright,” she declared, shrugging off her stress and smiled, putting on her casual mask that she always used.

 

The meeting ended at lunchtime, and they settled that Eren wouldn’t be the leading actor. Rico talked to her about her next schedule for today, scolding her for a minute. It has already been three days since her stay with Levi’s apartment and it didn’t really fade with Rico. The smaller woman told her that she better not run away again because it will definitely ruin her career. Just to make her manager shut up, Mikasa informed her about the lunch date she’ll be having with Christa — she pulled her close to emphasize that her date is here – and they’ll be back after an hour or so. Rico, giving Christa a smile, nodded to Mikasa and sternly reminded her to give a call.

 

The two singers picked a restaurant near the studio, already making their order. They sat opposite to each other, telling each other stories. Since Christa was really interested where she was days ago, Mikasa let out a sigh and smiled weakly, as if giving her an apology.

 

“Escaping the world isn’t so bad, once in awhile though,” Christa shrugged. “But where on earth have you run off to?”

 

Remembering where, she smirked. “To a bar I haven’t even been. And really, I think it was the best thing I’ve done in ages,” she said, resting her arms on the table.

 

A light slap on the arm got her attention. “Well, c’mon. Share!” The blonde is grinning now, showing a set of perfect white teeth and her eyes shining.

 

The familiar look on her friend’s face got Mikasa. She was actually reluctant to tell her about the bar, Levi, the talk, the apartment, the throwing up, the waking-up-in-a-different-shirt — she blushed at that — and the morning talk. But upon seeing her friend’s familiar face, the way her face shone with natural concern, all her doubts went flying away. She could really trust Christa. “Fine, fine,” she chuckled. “You see, I went to this bar that I haven’t been to before—“

 

“Yeah, you told me,” Christa interrupted, rolling her eyes and winking at her.

 

Mikasa gave a soft scoff as she said, “interrupt me again and I won’t tell you.” Their order came up, and they both sipped through their drinks first.

 

Mikasa had given a summary of what happened that one, fateful night. It left Christa with widened eyes and a gaping mouth. She actually got that reaction ever since the talk about Levi. And speaking of Levi, she glanced over her drink, thinking that she should have just ordered hot tea instead of a cappuccino. The tea, the breakfast with this man and his—

 

“Is he a hottie?”

 

She blushed and gulped.

 

“Yep, figured he is.”

 

“Christa!”

 

“I vote for him rather than staying with Eren, to be honest.”

 

“Christa.”

 

“Mikasa, what plans do you have for this evening? I think you should visit the bar again.”

 

“You think?”

 

“Yes. And maybe tell him about you relationship with Eren right now, and see how he’ll react or give advice or whatever.”

 

 _Well, he is a good listener,_ Mikasa thought. And yes, he did listen to her babbling, choosing the right moments when to say something comforting or his opinion. Thinking about spending the night with him again brought a warm feeling to Mikasa, a promise that she consciously looked forward to see. “I will.”

 

\-----------------------------------------------

 

Mikasa was wearing a cap and the hood from her jacket was pulled up to her head as she slipped into the crowd, making way to that empty bar stool she occupied nights ago. As she slid into a bar stool, she caught Levi's eyes and smiled to him, taking off her hood and the hat. After giving another customer's order, the short man leaned in to her and she smelled his pleasing scent that got her wondering if he ever wore a cologne or perfume for that matter.

 

"Look who's here," his familiar, natural monotone voice brought her to her reverie.

 

"Hi."

 

"Hi yourself. Still getting a gin and tonic or you'd rather go for a new one?"

 

"Margarita, please." And at that, Levi set to work on her drink, Mikasa watching him and finds herself admiring every move he makes. The noises from people talking are set to background, fading away slightly in her ears as he turned around and met her eyes.

 

"So, what brings you here tonight?" Levi asked, placing her drink in front of her.

 

"The same reason I had a few nights back," she said simply, shrugging her shoulders as her hand scooped her margarita, bringing it to her mouth.

 

"You seem to like this place to escape."

 

"Well, that and I was going to propose something to you."

 

"Oh?"

 

"You'll be my diary."

 

"Diary..."

 

"Yes."

 

"Don't tell me you'll write down your crush's name on me, please. That's disgusting," he flinched. And she had to laugh.

 

"No, silly. It's like, I'll be telling you everything from now on."

 

"Why is that? You know, you shouldn't trust a complete stranger." As soon as the words left Levi's mouth, he regretted it. She was offering him a great chance in order to be more close with her, and this was the best way to stop her from killing herself in the end. But then, he was worried for her, worried that she might fight strangers okay and might trust them a little too soon. He hoped, deep inside him, that he's the only stranger whom she trusted in little time's due.

 

"I know," she said, her head bowed down. "But there's something about you that I find myself being drawn into." And it's the truth. Instead of keeping everything to herself, she found comfort in this man and she wanted it more.

 

"Oh?" Levi was surprised, his eyebrows shooting up for a split second. "I presume that the reason you're here now is to make your first entry." He smiled inwardly, thinking about how his mission is playing out for him in a rather, easy way. He just had to gain her trust before he could finally reach into her. Upon saying the last sentence, he saw her blush and shift in her seat uncomfortably.

 

"Yes. And I hope you're not too busy."

 

"No, not really. If you don't mind me taking orders from other customers, that is." He wished that his manager wouldn't mind, since he was doing his job as a bartender anyway.

 

Instead of keeping some details hidden with her relationship with Eren, Mikasa found her heart talking instead of her mind when it comes to Levi. Eren and Mikasa started dating when she was rumored to be pregnant with another man, leaving a bad impression on most of the people for a lot of them were looking up to her, and those were the times that she cared. Eren saved her from it, saying that he's her boyfriend and got mad when they accused her of sleeping with another man. It was really sweet of Eren, and she liked him secretly anyway. It was like a dream come true when he became her boyfriend for real, and she treasured that. Thinking about Christa's advice, she had thought about the past two years hard. Has Eren really been into her? Or he was just being nice to her all this time but has feelings for Annie? It was something that she wanted to discuss with a man that won her over in one night, thinking of what opinion he'll give her.

 

"Have you ever thought about your feelings for him and vice versa?"

 

"Uhm..." She had to think about that.

 

"Maybe you focused too much on yourself. You gave too much and he might have felt that it's as if he's indebted to you," he said as he poured on a vodka for the other customer two bar stool beside her, eyeing her when he noticed that it's the famous Mikasa Ackerman. He even slipped into her and asked for an autograph.

 

"Having you here kind of brought popularity in this place, you know," Levi said, being side-tracked.

 

"I guess I should be here more often," she grinned as she scanned the whole area. There were people who noticed her presence, smiling widely when she looked at them.

 

"It'll keep me busy too, but it's alright. Now, when you get out of here, I want you to think about staying with the man who is physically with you, yes, but his heart and attention to someone else. To be honest, it's greater if you break up with him now rather than embarrassing yourself when he's caught on camera that he's with someone else," he said as he took her glass, refilling it with another. "It will give you more heartaches. Not only that, another ugly image," he finished.

 

She was staring at him, her eyebrows furrowed but her eyes say that she was pulled from the darkness, as if hearing the words she was expecting. And it looks like she was staring for a long time — Levi was also staring back at her — because she saw the bartender cocked an eyebrow, shifting from where he was standing. "What?"

 

"Nothing," she murmured as she downed another sip of margarita. "Thank you."

 

"You're not regretting the fact that you told me that, right? Because I'm a frank person."

 

"Then maybe you're the one I need."

 

 _Need?_ Levi tested the word in his mind, trying to grab all the information that his mind makes. "They sugarcoat words?"

 

"Most of the time. They're gentle, maybe sometimes except Rico. But when she's mad, hell, we get into an argument."

 

"Why don't you just fire her?"

 

"She's my mom's friend. She's skilled, but sometimes..."

 

"She gets suffocating," he finishes out for her.

 

"Yes. And I don't have parents anymore so I only got her and Christa Lenz, my friend. If you don't know her, she's also a singer and an actress," she finished her drink, shaking her head when he tried to take it from her. "No, I don't wanna throw up again."

 

She winked at him, grabbing her wallet as she paid for her drink. "Keep the change."

 

The girl placed her cap back on, her hood following. Levi eyed her as she walk, watching how her hips swayed from side to said, saying goodbye's to the people who bid her good night until the door closed behind her. His hands reached for the money, his eyes catching a white piece of paper lying on top of the cash. He smirked, as he his hands took the papers, taking the white one to the pocket of his jeans.

 

_She likes me already._

\-----------------------------------------------

 

The apartment was dark as soon as he stepped in at 3.45 am in the morning, hearing his own footsteps as he tossed his keys to the table, went to the sofa and sank on it. As if it wasn't enough, he lay on top of it, relaxing and resting his muscles. He rested his eyes for a minute or two before taking the piece of white paper from his jeans, examining the content. As everybody would have probably guessed — and they guessed it right — it's her personal number. He has to get up and buy a cheap phone later if he wants to contact her and spend time earning her trust. Earning someone's trust is the best way to probably convince them into doing or not doing something, and he was planning something to get her.

 

Just as he closed his eyes to think of a plan, he heard a noise from just beside him. Startled of what it could be, he glanced at the side, which made him jump to his seat. On his glass table there sat a woman with a white gown, her back to him. He didn't believe in ghosts but if he's seeing one right now, he would pray for his life there and then. Levi tried to stay and look calm, and he did. He swallowed, wetting his dry throat but his veins betraying him, refusing not to shake.

 

"Don't be like that," the white figure gave a chuckle, shoulders bouncing up and down. She turned to look at him, and there he noticed that there's something about her that's holy. "I'm Hanji, a messenger sent from the heavens."

 

Levi gave out a soft sigh, but he couldn't bring himself to sit on the sofa anymore. "What do you want?"

 

"Levi. We're seeing what you're doing, and this isn't right," Hanji spoke, her face shifting from playful to serious. "You were sent here to save a life. But you're doing it for a selfish reason."

 

The angel stood up, and Levi could swear that he caught a glimpse of her white wings, but they disappeared from his sight again. "You should save her because you want to, not because you have to."

 

"Isn't that what I'm supposed to do? To save her and I can go to heaven?"

 

"Yes. You benefit each other."

 

"We do. But I need to make this quick, I only have three weeks left and I can feel that this lung cancer will kill me night by night I find myself in front of the sink."

 

"I can't do anything about that. I have to go, now that I've delivered the message."

 

"Wait--"

 

A gust of wind blew, making Levi close his eyes and by then, he knew that she's gone. When he opened them again, there was no sign that she's been there. He sat on the sofa again, bringing his face to his hands as his mind processed what the angel said.

 

A while ago he was sure to get her trust completely, but after that talk with Hanji, he felt like he had to start again from scratch, confusion taking over.

 

\-----------------------------------------------

 

Mikasa elbowed Christa as they talked about last night when she went to visit Levi in the bar again. She also told the blonde about Levi's opinion, admitting that he said the perfect words she wanted to hear, to make herself snap out of it. And now, she felt composed and strong, her past depression melting into another one of her mask collections.

 

They were in a fine restaurant, the meeting was set up to happen here, and it was for another project that involves her, Eren, Annie and Christa. When Eren arrived, he was with Annie and not with Mikasa. The raven haired girl had to bite her lower lip as she looked down, Christa following her gaze a while ago.

 

“After this, why not try to break the whole issue in with him?” Christa asked, whispering to Mikasa’s ear.

 

“That’s what I've been planning but I don’t think I can stand this anymore,” she replied, tucking the hair behind her ear. Really, it was her plan and she has thought of this over and over again that night when Levi told her about his opinion. For some reason she couldn't comprehend, her senses came to her as soon as she left the bar, making her realize that he was never really romantic when it’s just the two of them. He was kind, yes, but not romantically in love like the things they see in movies. It was her putting an effort in their relationship anyway, and thinking about the next scheduled meeting with him, she tried to pick the right words to say. Maybe it wouldn't be all too bad. So she stood up, much to Christa’s surprise, approached Eren who looks like he was surprised that Mikasa came up to him.

 

“Can we talk?” Mikasa asked him, smiling at Annie who just took her seat.

 

“Uhm, sure,” Eren look unsure, but he smiled at her. A smile that didn't reach his eyes.

 

They walked a few steps, just to make the conversation out of anyone’s reach but Christa was looking at them from their table.

 

“Eren, do you love me?” Mikasa asked the brunette straight, making the boy blush a little and he looked uncomfortable. He broke the stare as he scratched his head and swayed. “Answer me.”

 

“Mikasa, about that—“ Eren stuttered, taking a deep breath as he looked at the ceiling, thinking of what to say. “I wanted to break up with you.”

 

Mikasa gave a huff of breath, flinching inwardly for his bold words. It didn’t hurt as much like she thought it would. “It’s Annie, right?” Her voice was just above low, and Eren couldn't guess what she was feeling now.

 

“Well, yes. But please,” Eren looked like he was begging her, “Please don’t be mad at Annie. I should've told you that I never really…”

 

“Loved me,” she finished it out for him, remembering the time when Levi did it for him. Why is she remembering Levi all now and why now of all moments? Now that she thought of it, Levi has been on her mind ever since the first meeting. Instead of pushing the thought of Levi away from her mind, she embraced it. Instead, she made it her strength to have this conversation right now with Eren, mimicking his face that gave nothing away. “I’m breaking up with you too. But it hurts a lot to think that you really had something for me, Eren. You could have just told me sooner, instead of making it last for two years,” she spat.

 

“Hey, don’t be all stingy now. I said I was sorry,” Eren countered. “And besides, you’ve really been clingy ever since we were together.”

 

That was enough for Mikasa to hear. She hadn't really expected that to sting and she needed another strong drink to make it go away. “It was just me thinking and trying to make this work, Eren. Fine. We’re through,” she declared coolly, spinning to her heels as she headed back to the table where Christa is waiting, taking her bag with her.

 

“You’re leaving?” Christa asked, looking shocked. “How did it go?” She whispered.

 

“I’ll give you a call, but right now, I am dumping this project. Tell Rico about this,” she said, giving her phone to the blonde. “I’m not bringing that with me. But I’ll let you know where I am so we could meet up, okay? You know the rules,” she dipped to give her friend a peck on the cheek, smiling before completely turning to her heel and leave.”

 

“It’s raining, be careful!” Christa called after her, earning the attention of Eren, Annie and the other staff. She just gave them all an apologetic smile and shrug. She stared at Mikasa’s phone, thinking when to give Rico a call to let her know about the news.


	2. Sweetheart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Both Mikasa and Levi has learned their lessons, earning a reward from Erwin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Extra weeks added to Levi's life since there's this [one reader](https://www.fanfiction.net/u/5278401/Lalasmokey5) who suggested to extend his life to create memories, so I did. I'm glad she gave a review about that even before I had to end the fic so abruptly, pfft. Many thanks to her! :D BTW, to anyone who is majoring in medicine, if you found something wrong in one scene, kindly let me know. I don't actually have any personal experience and it would really help if you point out what's wrong. I would also like to thank [Chie onee-san](http://acuriechie.tumblr.com/) for giving me a medical advice. Thank you.  
> 

 

* * *

 

Dialing the phone number given to him, Levi waited for an answer. It was raining for tonight, making the surrounding chillier but the bar was enough to keep them all warm. He had gambled earlier, playing pool with a bunch of strangers at an arcade he visited. He was really lucky enough for these kinds of things, and when he knows that there’s no chance of winning a gamble, he uses his fast hands to work his magic. And voila; a phone with a new SIM card he bought just to contact the little girl. Levi isn’t on duty today with the bar, but he decided to visit anyway. So he sat on one of tables, eyeing the other customers that lingered for a seat. There aren’t too many of them either since it’s early in the evening and the bar just opened.

 

“Hello?” An unfamiliar voice spoke, surprising Levi.

 

“I’m sorry, I think I got the wrong number,” Levi said, closing his eyes as his free hand went to his pocket again to retrieve the white paper the singer gave her. Maybe she was just trolling with him?

 

“Are you looking for Mikasa? Are you by chance, Levi?” The other line asked, making his eyes widen. Maybe he called the right number after all, but to think that it isn’t her personal number makes him irritated.

 

“Yes.”

 

“This is Christa, and Mikasa left her phone with me since she didn’t want to be tracked by her manager,” she reasoned out.

 

“Oh? Where is she?”

 

“Hey, you.”

 

The sound of that voice made Levi’s heart jump, making him feel excited and his veins sing. He turned to look at where the voice came from; standing up from the table he was sitting on. His phone was still on his ear as he regards Mikasa, wet from the rain outside. His eyes lingered on her wet dress, hugging her figure tighter, showing off her delicate curves that the fabric covered. He would like to feel her wet yet warm skin on him now, smell her faint perfume and touch that beautiful face with his hands. The bartender, who’s off duty, noticed that she has a faint blush on her cheeks but a determined look on her face.

 

“Christa. She’s here right now,” he managed to say on the other line, hearing the girl chuckle.

 

“Good luck. I’ll leave you two now. And by the way, make her feel she’s wanted because she really is a desirable girl, right?” And that’s when he heard a beep, telling him that the blonde hang up. He slipped his phone inside his jeans’ pocket, never breaking eye contact with the woman in front of him.

 

Mikasa broke the staring contest when she lunged herself at him, capturing his lips with hers as her arms pulled him closer. She tasted him, licking his bottom lip and invading his mouth with her tongue. She tasted of fresh mint while he knew that he tasted like cigarette. Despite the contact, he knew that he liked it. Loud gasps, ‘oohs’ and ‘ahhs’ where heard from the background.

 

“Levi,” she broke the kiss when she spoke, retreating her face from his. “Thank you.”

 

It was Levi’s turn to pull her close, circling an arm around her waist as his other hand went to her face, his thumb brushing over her lips. “I’m guessing you broke up with him.” And it pleased him to know that she already came to her sense, that she finally realized that she was only fooling herself. Somewhere deep inside of Levi, he knew that he was glad that she’s not lying to herself anymore.

 

“Yes,” she was breathless. They spared another minute of staring before he looked around at the people who were watching them, burning with curiosity. He saw others took out their phones to capture their picture together, holding each other close. He didn’t care, but he wouldn’t know about Mikasa. “Take me away from here, Diary.”

 

He glared at those who took photographs but took Mikasa’s arm instead as they went for the door. “You don’t mind getting wet again, do you?”

 

“No, I don’t,” she replied, chuckling as she nodded to his old manager when he saw them. “Don’t you have to work for tonight?”

 

“I’m actually on a day off,” he answered, taking his leather jacket off the hook. “Cover yourself with this and hold my phone for me please.”

 

\--------------------

 

Walking under the rain together was out of the question, but it didn’t bother the two of them as they made way for the bathroom together, squeezing their wet clothes. They looked at each other for a minute or two, before bringing themselves up for another kiss. It was slow, passionate and warm, taking their time to explore and taste. It’s just that Levi broke the kiss, coughing to the side.

 

“You caught a cold already?” Mikasa scoffed, but giving his hip a squeeze.

 

“Might have,” Levi let her go then, took a few steps back as he removed his sweater and unbuckled his belt to take his jeans off. All that’s left is his boxer briefs, and that was enough to make Mikasa feel heat creeping from her neck and face. Levi turned to her, smirking as he takes in her expression. “You shower first,” is the only thing that he said before he exited the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

 

Mikasa was left alone in the shower room with wet clothes and her skin is already cold, but the warmth of his kiss still lingered on her lips. She undressed then, squeezing her wet, below the knee dress first before hanging them on the steel bar beside the shower.

 

Stepping into the shower, she washed herself thoroughly, grabbing the washcloth on top of the sink to scrub herself. His soap smelled of lime, and his shampoo of cool menthol, making her appreciate his overall scent and wondered if she should get the same products next time. She dried herself with a fluffy towel she got from the cabinet, wrapping it around her body afterwards.

 

"Levi, it's your turn," she called.

 

\--------------------

 

"You know, this is the first time I've eaten cereal and banana for dinner. Because based from what I know, they're advisable for breakfast."

 

She giggled. "It's not so bad eating them for dinner. I love cereal."

 

"Tch. Brat."

 

"What did you say, old man?"

 

"Brat."

 

Mikasa almost pouted but reminded herself that if she pouts now, it'll only justify what he said. It kind of brought irritation in her veins, but she has thought of something to parry the attack. "Well," she smiled wickedly, much to herself. "So much for these tiny clothes that belongs to an insufferable chibi."

 

Levi snorted on his tea, making him cough. Mikasa was wearing his loose grey t-shirt that covered her sex half an inch longer when she stood. Underneath, she wore her briefs and black boxers. He never thought of telling her to wear his sweat pants for fear that she might tease him about how it's short for her. And besides, he was getting a rather perfect view. Her nipples were hard and pointing, he can see them through the fabric. Her creamy white, long legs stretched as it came to rest on his coffee table. He wanted to run his hands and fingers all over her, but he and his self control were together against his lust. He focused on her face, trying to gain composure. Levi already took note that she had removed her lipstick, yet she kept on biting them, resulting to swollen, red lips. Her pale face matched her pretty eyes and hair, making her more attractive. If it weren't for her smirk that mirrored her mischief, he would grab her now and taste her again.

 

"Do you know that you shouldn't be alone with strangers?" He breathed, trying to threaten her. "I might do something to you."

 

That made her smile sadly, meeting his eyes. "Like molest me or even rape me? It's fine," she held the hem of his shirt. "You can murder me after. Drug me, it's fine."

 

What was happening with this girl? He questioned himself, staring at her with a stoic expression on his face. "You trust strangers too soon."

 

"I don't. You're the only one - and first one, I will add - who managed to gain my trust."

 

"Why is that so?"

 

"I should be the one asking that."

 

"I don't know the answer either, don't look at me."

 

"There's something about you..."

 

Mikasa reached to him, touching his lips with her thumb as she leaned closer. Her legs dropped to the floor as she moved, her breath touching his chin. “Something that's pulling me into you, stranger."

 

Levi caught her thumb with his lips, squeezing it and licking it with his tongue. With that, both of them relaxed in the company of each other. With that, Levi let Mikasa drop her head to his shoulder as she told him about her childhood, her parents, and her dark days. She clung to his arm as she poured everything, loving the way he would rub her hand with his thumb whenever her voice cracked and kissing her head whenever she kept quiet when she felt like she couldn't bring it up anymore. His arm, losing itself from her hold, went around her shoulder to pull her closer to him. It's not only Mikasa who shared her story, but Levi made his contribution as well. He couldn't really help it, and he could relate to most of the things that she had experienced. He told her about the things he had done in the past, telling her about what he learned from them. He decided that making her open up to him was the best way to gain her trust, and he got it. He was pleased, and it brought him pride to know that she trusted him; that he earned it.

 

It didn't take long before Mikasa snuggled close to Levi, already sleeping in his arms. Levi held her for a few more minutes, stroking her hair over and over, before he carried her to bed, dropping her gently on the soft mattress. As he stood up to make his way back to the living room, he felt Mikasa's hand pulled on his sleeve. He glanced at her, humming to ask if she needed anything.

 

"Stay. Sleep with me," she murmured in her sleep, her eyes half closed.

 

"I'll just clean up, okay?" He dipped down to kiss her forehead, earning a moan from the sleeping woman.

 

As he washed the bowls and wiped the glass table, he thought about his own life and of hers. He compared and reflected, seeing that there were a lot of common things they shared. In some instances, their decisions weren't always the same. If he chose a right and normal path rather than being a happy-go-lucky freelancer, would he have found happiness? Would he have found contentment? That was one thing that both of them have now; yes, Mikasa was successful but she lacked of understanding and real love. In his case, he wasn't really that successful but he earned understanding from his best friends, Isabel and Farlan. Maybe that was one thing that made him sane, and maybe if he could give it to Mikasa, she would find contentment.

 

As Levi finished his cigarette, he was contemplating of whether to finally settle for giving this woman the things that she lacked; things that money cannot buy, things that a person could give without asking anything for return. He was having second thoughts at first, but as he lay beside her on his bed, pulling the blankets to cover both of them, he has decided. He will help her.

 

\--------------------

 

"Can I stay here in your apartment for awhile?" She asked him when he opened his eyes, closed them again and sighed. He would want to sleep more, but he knew he had to answer her before she could bug him.

 

"Yes," he groaned, wishing that it was enough to make her stop and go away. And indeed, it was enough. But he didn't expect a kiss from his lips, feeling a smile that formed from her mouth. He almost, almost returned the kiss but she pulled away, making him open his eyes and growl.

 

"Thank you," she whispered, a smirk forming from her lips as she watched him. She was a fine sight in the morning, and he didn't know if he was just sleepy or it was the just the sun's reflection, but he could see sincere happiness and contentment that shone in her eyes. Her lips quirked up in a beautiful smile, and he almost returned it. Almost.

 

"Sleep more," she said softly, kissing his cheek this time before he felt the mattress bounced once, telling him that she left the bed.

 

The following days have been beautiful for both of them. Mikasa has learned not to care about what everybody thought, but she made sure that she didn't do anything wrong or embarrassing. Being a celebrity didn't really make her life easy, so every time she had to go out, she waved and smiled to everyone who greeted her. She couldn't say 'no' to anyone who asks for her autograph and photograph, until Levi pulls her away from the crowd of fans she has. Just like she expected, the news came in fast about her dating another guy after she broke up with Eren Jaeger. At first, she felt uncomfortable, squirming every time she and Levi had to go out in public. It was Levi who taught her to feel easy and confident; that there was really nothing to worry about and that she should greet them with a smile because she was finally being herself. The news about her and Eren had her wondering if she and Levi can be considered as dating, and she actually blushed thinking about asking him.

 

“Levi,” she started, peeking up on him from her plate. “We’re dating, right?”

 

“Hmm. I guess so,” he said as he sipped his drink, his eyes never leaving hers.

 

“Oh, c’mon. We are, right?”

 

“If taking you out for breakfast, lunch and dinner without you paying, kissing each other, cooking, cleaning, sleeping and cuddling on a warm sofa or bed, drinking liquor in the bar, experimenting with cocktails, telling you all about my mischief and other shit including the drug part, trusting you not to tell anyone that, teaching you how to play pool, how to climb a tree and how to play the guitar, spending time together and whatever romantic and fun things we did isn’t considered dating, then I don’t know what we’re doing,” he licked his lips as he watched his hand drop his cup on the table. He was teasing her, alright. “It hurts my pride to know that you don’t consider—“

 

“I do, I do,” she interrupted him, her cheeks flaring red. She squirmed in her seat, suddenly feeling uncomfortable and shy which made Levi smirk.

 

“Am I your boyfriend now?” Levi asked, loving her reaction all of a sudden. He liked her being uncomfortable, shy and squirming in front of him right now, and he wanted to see more. He is still sadistic after all.

 

She ducked her head low, covering her face with the red scarf he gave her when they first went to the arcade where he used to play and gamble. Ever since then, she always wore that red scarf, cleaning it every three days. “Uhh—“

 

“Or do you want me to say something sweet to you? Like a fucking poem of some sort. Like those hopeless romantics write or say to the girl they’re courting?” Levi suggested, sounding sarcastic but serious at the same time. And it was difficult to tell.

 

“Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day? Thou art more lovely and more temperate,”

Levi started, tapping his fingers on the table as his free hand rested on the top rail of his chair. “Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May. And yadda, yadda, yadda. I don’t know what’s next.” He waved his hand in dismissal, frowning.

 

Mikasa had to chuckle at that. “And summer’s lease hath all too short a date. I never imagined you were a fan of Shakespeare,” she looked at him as she smiled widely.

 

“I never was, but the girl I used to date before was a fan. I had to memorize a line just to impress her,” he said nonchalantly, and his eyes widen a fraction when she saw her stiff hand grasping the spoon. Shit. Farlan’s advice came back to him about the ex factors. ‘Never ever mention an ex to a girl you’re currently trying to impress. Most especially, if she digs you too.’

 

“I see,” she deadpanned.

 

“It was in the past. And I never really liked her. It was just a bet between my friend and I,” he added hurriedly, trying not to sour her mood. Why was he even explaining himself to this brat? There was actually nothing to be jealous about. And why does he feel so guilty all of a sudden? This is a new feeling to him. Never had he felt this way towards to any girl he dated since all of them were just for his pastime, just to see what kind of fun they would bring.

 

She said nothing, her gaze glued to her plate as she finished off her lasagna. They ate in silence, and it made Levi uncomfortable. He thought of a plan to win her back, and he almost rolled his eyes at about what he was going to do. She finished her dinner, wiping her mouth with a tissue before standing up. Before she could spin to her heel, she felt a grip on her hand. “What?” She asked, scowling at him.

 

“You’re mad.”

 

“I’m not mad.”

 

“Yes, you are. You got jealous over something that I said awhile ago and it made you mad. So technically, yes, you are mad,” he said in a matter-of-fact tone.

 

“Fine, I am. I’m sorry, okay?” She spat, keeping the embarrassment of lying to herself.

 

“There’s nothing to be jealous about,” he coaxed.

 

“I was wondering if I belong to the category of a ‘pastime’, actually,” she snapped.

 

“I can prove that you’re not.”

 

“Oh yeah? Throw the bomb, shorty.”

 

“If it makes you feel any better, I’ll fucking make a fucking original fucking poem,” he groaned. “And I’ll start right now.”

 

That was something that caught Mikasa’s full and undivided attention, her irritation subsiding as she watched him think; his eyes darting from here and there, up and below. She knows that he was tapping his foot like he usually does whenever he thinks of something or when he is lost in thought. Finally, he let out a sigh and raked his free hand on his hair, pulling slightly as he closed his eyes briefly before dropping it to the table as he snapped his eyes open.

 

"Not as poetic as Shakespeare could be,

Not as melodramatic as woman could see.

But I'd do anything to please thee

Just this once, please bear with me."

 

Mikasa had felt the indirect "sorry" he was trying to tell her, and she waited for him to say more of his on-the-spot sweet poem.

 

"You make me come out of my shell

Make me do things out of the blue.

I followed you in everything you do,

I wanted to be with you as if on cue.

I know you mean well

But I don’t know I just fell.

 

"You make me want to dance out of music.

You make me want to sing out of sync.

I say words more than I used to

Then you silence me with just a word

That runs deep through my soul.

I'm a different person around you."

 

'I know you mean well, but I don't know, I just fell.' She repeated this in her mind, trying to digest every word that he's saying. ‘I’m a different person around you.’ She even watched his mouth as the words came out of them.

 

"What you do to me is out of season

As if I can do anything; I might commit treason.

Though you make me want to be a better person,

And live my life for a reason."

 

To let Mikasa know that he was done, he gave a slight bow like a performer does when his show is over. “I’m through playing a hopeless romantic poet. And I really do hope that you’re not jealous now because thinking of a poem on the spot is hard,” he rolled his eyes before landing it to hers.

 

Mikasa’s smile grew more, and she came to Levi and gave him a hug, her chin resting on his shoulder. “You love me. Thank you,” she whispered close to his ear, giving him delicious chills from his ear to every part of his body. He was sure that she was happy, and he felt contented.

 

He wrapped his arms around her waist and squeezed her in a hug. Instead of spending the moment where they would just hug each other, Mikasa lifted her head and gave him a kiss. Like the kiss in the shower, it was slow and passionate, taking their time to explore each other’s mouth. Levi was known to being hygienic and would freak out now with kissing without even brushing their teeth, but instead, he threw his obsession with cleanliness and savored the kiss. Instead, he pulled away from her mouth slightly – their tongue not breaking contact – as he tasted her lips, biting and nibbling on the soft, velvety flesh. She moaned against his lips, her breath hitching up when she felt his hands pulling her shirt up just below her bra, his hand flat on her stomach.

 

“Levi—“she moaned between kisses. “Bed. Please.”

 

“Mikasa,” he breathed. He scooped her up, taking her to his bedroom and laid her there, continuing the kiss they had back at the kitchen.

 

Levi was on top of her, and he felt Mikasa’s fingers brushing over to the hem of his shirt, pulling it up, removing it from him. She tossed his shirt to the side, going for his belt next. Yes, it was what she wanted right now. After unbuckling his belt, Mikasa felt Levi pulling away from the kiss and his hands stopped hers. She gasped, looking at his eyes in question.

 

“No,” he whispered.

 

“No?” She whispered back in question.

 

“No sex,” he smiled apologetically at her, shrugging as he cast his eyes down. He was still on top of her.

 

“What? Why?”

 

“I am not gay, impotent or whatever. It’s just that—“ he stopped, thinking that if he told her about his lung cancer, she might leave him. Why was he feeling this way? Why is it that the thought of her leaving made his chest feel heavy? Why was he afraid?

 

“Levi?” She says, distracting him from his thoughts. She needed an answer.

 

He shook his head, running a hand through his hair. “I’m sorry,” he started. “Can we talk about this some other time?”

 

Mikasa studied him for awhile before nodding. “Sure. Let’s sleep then?” She smiled at him, running her fingers down his jaw. Levi’s hands caught her fingers, bringing them to his lips to kiss them.

 

“I’ll wash the dishes. Go on and sleep if you want,” he told her, kissing her head before grabbing his shirt as he stood up.

 

“I have to brush my teeth,” she said, sitting up. “I’ll meet you here again.”

 

“Sure.”

 

They finished their duties first before they crawled into bed, holding each other close as they waited for drowsiness to take over. Mikasa slipped into a peaceful slumber while Levi was left alone with his thoughts. He remembers the words Mikasa whispered on his ear when he finished that poem: ‘You love me. Thank you.’ And by that, he asked himself the question that was set right before him. Does he love her? If not, why did he felt afraid when he thought of losing her? What will she do if she finds out that his life wouldn’t last long? It will always fall into the part where they would part ways, and it hurt him more, feeling a pang of pain in his chest, close to his heart. He looked at the sleeping form beside him, smiling to himself to find her relaxed in his arms. He kissed her forehead, earning him a moan as she snuggled closer to him. Levi rested his head on top of hers, closing his eyes in defeat.

 

This will get them nowhere. And right now, he has to make a decision for him and for her. He’s not supposed to fall in love with her­, no. He was sent back here to save this girl from destruction and he thinks that she wouldn’t take her life anymore. The sooner that he ends this relationship with her, the sooner she can move on and find a good man. It killed a part of him when he thought about hurting her. There’s a part in his heart where he feels that he wants to keep her closer, until he dies, and there’s also a part in him that tells him that he should let her go. It took a few moments before he realized that it was his heart and his mind in an argument, and he was left to decide which one of them he will follow.

\--------------------

 

“Mikasa, I think you should go back home. To Rico, to your apartment.”

 

Mikasa stopped to her tracks, stunned by Levi’s words. She was cleaning the living room — Levi had taught her how and she had no choice but to learn since her boyfriend didn't like it when it's dirty — and she immediately stopped as soon as he said those words. She spun her head to him, eyes furrowed and confusion coated her eyes. "Why?"

 

He rarely lied, because he believed that it's easier to move around when you're not hiding something. He didn't speak much anyway, so it wasn't really hard. But to her, however, he felt like his heart was being pierced with many daggers. He never liked the idea of lying to her, no. Yet, he had to. She didn't need to learn about his sickness either.

 

So Levi quarreled with himself, summoning all of his guts to tell her a lie. "Because you don't belong here. I don't love you anymore." He felt his heart dropped to his stomach.

 

Mikasa was gaping at him, she felt her heart pounding fast as her palms become sweaty. "Levi—"

 

"I want you out of here."

 

And with that, she got up to her feet and took a few steps towards him. "But why? Have I done something wrong? What did I do to upset you?" She was desperate to know what, why and how. She was desperate to beg and plead. "Please tell me."

 

"Mikasa..."

 

"Is it about my career? Aren't you satisfied with me? What is it that you want me to do? I can learn new things; I can learn how to clean and cook so—" The words came out of her mouth so fast, she couldn't even comprehend them all. "I won't get jealous over your exes. Please, Levi. Please don't do this to me."

 

"I want you out. I—" he coughed roughly, squeezing the air out of his lungs. When he felt that Mikasa leaned over to him, he back away fast. "When I come back here, I don't want to see you. Just leave. Just leave me alone." And he left those words hanging in the air as he walked in a fast pace to the door, exiting his apartment, leaving Mikasa slumped on his floor, weeping.

 

\--------------------

 

What do you want me to do now? I am so fucking confused.

 

Levi reached for another stick of cigarette as he coughed, spitting as he finished. He took it to his lips, lighting up the end using his lighter as he puffed a smoke in the air. He was sitting on the rooftop of a high building, looking at the world above and below him. The buildings below him are glowing with neon lights as the sun kissed the horizon, waiting for the moon to take its place. The sky has turned beautifully dark blue, with a mixture with orange, red and pink, scattering everywhere. Looking up above the sky is like looking into his own heart; a mixture of pain, confusion, sadness and determination swelled inside of him. He has been thinking about it time and again, if he ever did the right decision. Since he can no longer keep up with his own thoughts, he was trying to communicate with the guardian who sent him in this position anyway, thinking that the messenger Hanji would come back and tell him a clue.

 

He closed his eyes and ran a hand through his hair, pulling them tight to distract himself. “I’ll hurt her,” he said as if he was talking to someone. “If she falls further for me, I might be the reason why she’ll take away her own life.”

 

After a few more minutes, he decided to go home, thinking that she might have already left. He threw an empty packet of cigarette in the garbage can as he walked dutifully back to his own flat. With each step, he felt nervous. With each step, his heart pounded more and he stopped by a convenient store to buy a candy. Levi remembered that he had to call Mike, the manager of the bar where he’s working, telling him that he can’t come tonight because he feels sick. It wasn’t a total lie, no.

 

“Alright,” Mike said on the other line, giving a sigh. “Just be back here as soon as possible.”

 

“Yeah.” Levi turned his phone off, frowning to himself as he thought about the fact that Mikasa might call him. He had to change his number, but he wasn’t in the mood right now to purchase another SIM card.

 

Standing in front of the door of his apartment, he listened closely to know if there’s any sign of her still inside. When he never heard anything, he unlocked it, grateful for the fact that Mikasa thought of securing his home. His apartment feels cold and empty without the woman in his home. He walked in, footsteps heavy with each step. Despite the fact that she was gone, her scent still lingered, causing him to clench his fist as he jogged towards his sofa without even bothering to turn the lights on. He dropped his full weight on it, his head hitting the soft cushion.

 

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, staring on the ceiling. “I’m sorry.”

 

\--------------------

 

Biting her lip, Mikasa drank her fourth glass of brandy, sitting on her own mini bar located in her condo unit. She called Christa to come and accompany her since she was indeed feeling lonely and broken.

 

Mikasa kept on asking herself what has gotten into Levi, thinking about the words he said. It stung, yes, but she prevented herself from crying. She was mad, and she used to it stop herself from crying. ‘Men,’ she scoffed. She thought about Eren, and compared their relationship with Levi and hers. She thought about the way she would always panic whenever Eren is shoving her away. She thought about how she would always be the one to do something to see him, how she would adjust her time for him, and how she would want to make their relationship work. And then she thought of Levi, drinking a lot from her glass as she did so. It wasn’t always her who did the job of making a relationship work. In fact, he did his share, making her feel more appreciated and loved. Eren never told her that he loved her, and so did Levi. That was one thing both of them had in common. Just then, the scene where Levi struggled to tell her a poem came flashing in her head. Why was she remembering that now?

 

As Mikasa finished off her drink and reached for the bottle to pour herself another one, her anger has subsided. Remembering the things that Levi has done for her came to her mind like a waterfall, hitting her just in the right place. Come to think of it, she could say that Levi has been a better lover than Eren, but she had never said that he loved her. It clenched her heart; maybe he didn’t love her after all. Maybe she was just a pastime for the past few days. A ping from her phone pulled her to reality, distracting her thoughts.

 

“I’m here,” Christa said over the phone.

 

“Wait up,” she replied, dragging her feet towards the door to let her friend in.

 

“Hey,” the blonde greeted, ending the call when she laid her eyes on Mikasa, frowning as she did.

 

“Come on in, I don’t want to tell the story when you’re outside, you know.”

 

They made way for the bar in silence, Mikasa taking up another brandy from the cupboard and another glass. She poured her a friend a glass, sitting on the bar stool as she finished.

 

“You guys got into a fight?” Christa started, taking a sip from her drink.

 

“Yeah, something like that,” Mikasa replied, shifting in her seat.

 

“Tell me about it.”

 

And she did. She told her about the sudden weirdness with Levi earlier, her voice being raspy as she went. Mikasa had to drink as she finished the story, swallowing the lump that was forming from her throat. She has also added the things that they’ve done before the sudden change in his behavior.

 

“You know,” Christa started, her fingers sliding on the brim of the glass. “I think he’s hiding something.”

 

Mikasa scoffed, shaking her head.

 

“Mikasa, you guys just met like, three weeks ago? To be honest, your love story is like Romeo and Juliet, but yours is much possible. There are things that you don’t know about him, even if he told you a lot. You can’t prove them to be true, right?” She shrugged. “But you know what? The past doesn’t matter anyway. Based from what you told me, he’s really into you, but there’s something hindering him.”

 

“And what do you think that is? I asked him if it’s about my career, about something about me and whatever, but he didn’t reply. Instead, he pushed me away. He left, just like that. He left me hanging,” Mikasa almost whispered the last sentence, the words coming out a murmur. The part when he left her all alone is what stung the most, for she felt like she was left by the person she had learned to trust. She had to put her head in her hands, thinking about the time when her parents died.

 

“Maybe because it isn’t really about you, you know? Maybe it’s about him.”

 

Mikasa glanced at her friend, raising an eyebrow. “Does that fit in the notorious line, ‘It’s not about you, it’s me’ shit?”

 

“Yes,” she laughed. “Levi seems like a serious guy, you know. And I don’t think he’ll just push you away without any reason that you won’t find valid.”

 

Christa was right about that; Levi is definitely a serious person. But despite him being serious, he wasn’t a boring person. Maybe with others, yes, but she didn’t find him boring. In fact, she finds the silence between them comforting. It wasn’t really awkward to begin with, and she enjoyed every moment with him. The way he would play with her hair as she took a nap on the sofa, her head on his lap as he read a magazine flashed before her, making her sigh.

 

“Well, whatever reason that is, I hope he tells me.”

 

“Why not give him space for the time being?” Christa suggested.

 

“Is three days enough? Or does he deserve a week?”

 

“Three days, I think. If you make it a week, he might get used of not missing you, `ya know,” she winked, grinning right after.

 

“Okay, three days it is,” Mikasa smiled, her earlier frustration fading.

 

The two of them spent the night drinking and talking about whatever topic that they could find. Mikasa felt comfortable with Christa, and she was thankful that she called her instead of Sasha and the whole gang. Christa is like the sister she never had, and she was glad when she agreed to sleep over, distracting her more from the thought of Levi.

 

Before going to sleep, as she turned her back to Christa, she remembered her mother. She thought that maybe if she was still with her, breathing and smiling, she would come to her house and snuggle close to her. She would ask about how men think, trusting her advice since she already has a husband. Before finally letting drowsiness take over her, she prayed for her parents and for Levi.

 

\--------------------

 

“Why isn’t Mikasa Ackerman here for a few nights now?” Mike asked from behind, taking a bottle of gin.

 

“I don’t know, maybe she’s busy.” Levi said in a monotone voice, but the sound of her name made his heart beat furiously. “You know that a life of a celebrity means having little privacy and time.”

 

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” Mike shrugged, closing the topic as he made way for making another cocktail.

 

The bar doesn’t have too much people for tonight, and he found himself glancing over the door whenever a customer shows themselves in. Whenever the door opens, he can’t help but think and hope that it’s Mikasa.

 

“A glass of sparkling water, please,” a voice which seemed familiar cut him from his thought. As he turned to look at the customer, his eyes widen a fraction.

 

“Hi.”

 

“Hanji,” he managed to say. If Hanji is here, it only means that there’s a message for him. “Got something for me?” He crossed his arms as he takes a closer look at her.

 

“Hey, hey, I want a glass of sparkling water!” Hanji said, her eyebrows furrowing. She looks like a simple customer enough, fitting quickly into the crowd. Levi had to roll his eyes as he fetched her water.

 

“Will you tell me now?” he spat, placing the glass in front of her. She was sitting where Mikasa used to sit and he flinched to himself.

 

“Don’t be stingy, I have good news for you,” Hanji said, sipping her water.

 

“Oh?” That got Levi’s attention, and he leaned closer to listen.

 

“Someone finally prayed for you,” Hanji laughed whole heartedly, adjusting her glasses when she was over.

 

“Tch. As if it’s such a big deal.” Despite bitterness in his voice, he felt a pang of hope that it was Mikasa who did it.

 

“Yes, it is. Because it just saved you, and your life has been extended for a few weeks,” her face turned from playful to serious now, her hands clasped on top of the other. “The prayer was from Mikasa,” she smiled as she regards him, as if she knows what the two had for the past few days.

 

Levi felt a sudden wave of happiness inside of him, taking away his confusion and the agony of missing her. His confusion came back, however it didn’t bother him that much now. “Did she now?”

 

“Yes. So you have to make use of the extra weeks, Levi.”

 

“You know I’m confused, right?”

 

“Can’t help you with that.”

 

“That’s the same thing you told me the first time I ever saw you.”

 

“Oh yeah? I’m sorry, I can’t really help you with that matter,” Hanji smirked, loving the scowl on his face as he muttered a curse. “Well anyway, I have to go now that I’ve delivered the message.”

 

“Whatever.”

 

“Just live, Levi. Your name and that word have the same letters, and I suggest that you become good terms with it,” Hanji stood up, waving her hand in dismissal. “Bless you.”

 

Levi watched the messenger take her leave, thinking about the things she just told him. As he busied himself with work, he can’t completely push the thoughts at the back of his head. He still thinks of her, and how he felt when he learned that she was the reason why his life had an extension. Maybe this was a sign? Thinking about the positive, he wasn’t bothered by his own demons anymore.

 

\--------------------

 

Levi hasn’t been able to sleep completely for two nights now, because he kept on coughing and spitting blood. He was slumped on the bathroom tiles, his shirt slung over his shoulder. His breathing was shallow, sweat already drying from his forehead. He wiped it off with his shirt, flinching because he felt grimy. The last time he checked the clock, it was ten in the morning. Finally, he felt his breath calming. Finally, he was able to breathe even though it was shallow. He slowly stood up, testing if he could walk and take a shower before exiting the bathroom.

 

Stripping from his black slacks, he turned the shower on. He threw his clothes on the hamper before relaxing himself, his mouth going slack. He was tired and he wanted some sleep, yet he didn’t like to sleep with dirty clothes. And besides, the warm water cascading from his head, his shoulders and all over his body helped him relax.

 

After a few minutes, he coughed once again and he had to grip on the shower door, hating the way almost everything would hurt as he couldn’t breathe. He heard his doorbell rang, and he muttered a curse under his breath. Levi grabbed a towel and covered his abdomen, letting the water fall from his hair to his back and chest. He reached for the door handle, and when he opened it, he almost backed away.

 

“Levi.”

 

“Mi… kasa,” he huffed.

 

“Can I come in?” She asked, and he hated the way she studied him for awhile, her eyebrows furrowing all of a sudden but she didn’t ask.

 

He made backed away, making room for her to enter. He had accidentally smelled her sweet scent and that’s when he summoned all of his self control not to hug her and kiss her. He thought about the coughing, cigarette and spitting blood from his mouth, discouraging him to kiss her.

 

“Levi, you look so pale. And I think you haven’t been getting enough sleep,” he heard her say. He brought his head up to look at her.

 

“You look well,” he commented, taking in her figure. She looks simple, yet beautiful. It’s when he took a moment to finally study her, noticing her rather, gloomy aura.

 

“Cut the crap, Levi. Why are you—“

 

Before she could even finish, he coughed and he hoped that he doesn’t see blood from his hand as it covered his mouth. “It’s nothing. Why are you here?” He managed to say, wiping his hand on the back part of his towel and giving her a glare. He thought that it might make her mad, that it might make her go away because that’s what he wanted.

 

Instead of bombarding him with anything negative, Mikasa’s face was soft, giving a smile that made his heart clench. “Levi. Marry me.”

 

Anyone might have laughed at that because it was foolish enough. Surely, anyone would but Levi didn’t. He couldn’t bring himself to laugh at her, for he sees a sincere and determined look in her eyes. After a few seconds he shook his head, giving her a smile that doesn’t reach his eyes. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

 

Mikasa took off her expensive watch from her left hand, dropping it to the glassed coffee table beside them. “Marry me,” she says once more.

 

“Mikasa—”

 

She took a step forward, removing her silver bracelet and dropping her car keys on the table with her watch. She dropped her bag beside the accessories she had just removed. “Marry me, Levi.”

 

Levi shook his head once more, biting his lower lip as he sighed. “This is too soon, brat.”

 

“I don’t care. I’m willing to turn my back against my career just to marry you,” she says, and he could feel her gaze never leaving him. “I had a talk with Christa, you know.”

 

“Oh?”

 

“She just made me realize that I’m a selfish person. She told me to give you space and I did.” She smiled sadly, but it was replaced with a resolved one. “I just thought of the things that we’ve been through, and the bitterness I felt when you left, it faded away. I should have trusted you more.”

 

Levi felt another pang of pain and guilt surge through him. She was too good for him, and all he did was to push her away. He was sent here to save her, not the other way around. Because of her presence here, he finally let his instincts kick. He decided that he has to be honest with her. Levi hugged her then, burying his face on her neck, inhaling the scent that haunted him. And she hugged him right back, feeling that she had succeeded in winning him over.

 

“I’ve missed you,” he whispered.

 

“I’ve missed you more. But Levi,” she pulled away, looking into his eyes. “Why? What’s the matter?”

 

As if his body was listening, he could feel another cough coming out of him. He pulled away completely, running over to the sink as blood came out of his mouth. He felt her hands on his back and shoulder, rubbing the tight muscles that felt sore.

 

“Levi, why is there...” her voice trailed off when she sees the red liquid, making her worry more. She saved all the questions for later as she continued to rub his back while he coughed. She got him some water and took her handkerchief out of her purse.

 

When Levi could feel that he can breathe again, he opened the faucet to rinse the blood out of his sink. He felt Mikasa’s hands on him again, helping him walk over to the chair in his kitchen. Mikasa let him sat down before she dropped a glass of water and her handkerchief on the kitchen table, scrambling to his bedroom and returned with a set of clothes. She helped him put on his shirt, and turned her back when he had to put on his briefs and pants.

 

“Are you feeling okay now?” She asked, running her hand through his wet hair.

 

“Yes,” he muttered. His breaths were shallow once more, and he suddenly felt tired once again. “Mikasa,” he sighed and he slowly snapped his head up to look at her. “This is the reason why you can’t marry me. I have lung cancer.”

 

It was Mikasa’s turn to slump on a chair, her eyes wide as she looked at him. Even though he wanted to look away, he kept on staring at her, hoping that she would understand.

 

“Since when?” Her voice was above whisper.

 

“I don’t know,” he snorted, thinking if he tells her about the second life that was given to him, it’s her turn to laugh. So he thought about the most acceptable reason he could manage; realistic and not a complete lie. “Last time I knew, it was a month ago. And I don’t think I ever went back to the place where I really lived, Mikasa.”

 

“You should see a doctor. Come on, We’ll see one imme—“

 

“No,” he shook his head. “Please try to understand.”

 

“Then make me understand!” She blurted out. “Levi, I don’t want to lose you. I—” She shook her head, bringing it to her palms as if she erased the misery that etched on her face. “I love you.”

 

It was Levi’s turn to be silent. Everything just seemed to stop right before him, focusing on nothing else but her and those three words that came out of her mouth. He already knew that she had something for him, but he never really heard her say it. And come to think of it, he never even said it out loud for her now, right?

 

“I love you too,” he smiled, surprised by his own confession. As he said the words, he felt like his whole body has relaxed. “And I’m sorry, I never told you.”

 

“Levi, please.” Mikasa leaned close to his face, closing her eyes as she kissed him on his lips. She felt broken these past few days, devastated when she discovered that he’s sick and grateful at his confession. All at once, Mikasa let him know with just a kiss, and she welcomed him when he kissed her back. She pulled away, feeling the anxiety that bubbled up inside her chest. “Tell me why you don’t want to see a doctor.”

 

‘Because there’s no way I’d get cured,’ he wanted to say. "I don't think I'll ever get cured, Mikasa. Even if this is the 21st century, I don't think I can still make it."

 

"No, no. Don't say that..."

 

"Can I just spend my days with you? Until I'm here, alive and breathing?"

 

She bit her lip, sighing in defeat. From the tone of his voice, it really looks like he's locked up with the answer that he doesn't want to see a doctor. "Okay," she said.

 

She felt his hand caress her face and she couldn't help but just lean to his touch. "I'm sorry. I pushed you away because I know that you won't have a future with me and I want you to find someone who can give you better things. I know you're sulky," he said softly. "But death is inevitable. We'll all end up dying, and my contract will soon expire."

 

Thinking about the things that Levi said, Mikasa couldn't help the tears anymore, so she let them fell on her cheeks. Levi reached up to wipe them away, halting when Mikasa threw herself at him, sitting on his lap as she hugged him tight. And he held her, wrapping his arm across her waist as the other one fondled with her hair, comforting her. She cried in his arms, pouring her heart and soul with tears.

 

\--------------------

 

Levi has been exhausted and drowsy. He looks pale and thin, even his lips have faded its color. His eyes were dull and black circles formed from under them. It was something that Mikasa had noticed when she observed him while he's sleeping on his bed, and she was beside him. His breathing was shallow, and he seemed tensed. So she moved closer to him, kissing his cheek before snuggling close to him and putting an arm over his hip. That's when she felt him relax, smiling to herself as he did. She thought of the things he said before he succumbed into a peaceful slumber that he has been deprived with, letting them all sink inside her.

 

'Lung cancer,' she thought. Yes, she has seen him smoke but she never thought that he already has been diagnosed with cancer at a young age. She could remember that he would get mad her whenever she would attempt to try a stick, taking it from her hand and scolding her like an errand child. At first it irritated her, because she was already an adult, yet she wasn't bothered by it now because she knows why. She told him that she would stay, and he agreed. He told her that it looks like a good decision since he feels more relaxed now, making it for him easier to breath. Yes, he would cough in his sleep, waking him up slightly, and she would just place her hand on his chest to caress it, as if soothing the rough cough. Miraculously, it seemed to work, for he would breathe in deeply, continuing his disturbed slumber.

 

Just how many more days can she spend with him? Thinking about the future, Mikasa thought that Levi should quit his work and rest. She had thought a lot of things that she wanted to discuss with Levi, listing and memorizing them all in her head. As she did, she thought of a silent prayer for Levi, whispering the words "I love you" when she finished.

 

Feeling suddenly tired, Mikasa kissed Levi's chest, placing her ear against his chest as his heartbeat comforted her, lulling her to sleep.

 

\--------------------

 

Levi quit his job as a bartender, accepting Mikasa's offer. She had to talk to him about a lot, and he just listened, agreeing to almost everything since first, he felt like it's easier for her to accept his decision about not going to the doctor if he obeyed, and second, he felt worse with each passing day.

 

Whenever Mikasa and him would go out and spend time together, that's when Levi would forget about his disease. He was calm, collected and relaxed when he's with her. He was happy also, loving the way she would be fun and caring at the same time. He went to her condo unit, meeting Christa for the first time and hearing them sing together. He also met Rico, but they ignored each other. Sometimes, they would visit the bar, saying greetings to Mike and the crew. She would sing on their stage, looking at him from above all the time. He was contented this way, despite the fact that his case was worsening. He didn't mind, and in fact, like her, he was starting to say his prayers too.

 

One time, they were in Mikasa's condo unit alone. He would drink tea and read a book he pulled out from her shelf as she set herself in front of her grand piano, playing whatever music she would think of. This time, however, Mikasa called him, asking him to sit beside her as she started playing a beautiful lullaby.

 

"What's this piece called?" He asked, kissing her temple as he sat beside her, watching her fingers touch every key.

 

"Written in my heart," she replied, glancing in his direction as she smiled. "It's a beautiful piece."

 

Levi listened, watching her play gracefully. There was something in this music that he finds peace, and she was right. He had to admit that it was a beautiful one.

 

"I'll write a song about you," Mikasa interrupted his thought as she finished, pressing the last keys.

 

"Oh? And what would be the title of that song?" He smiled to her, loving the way he felt towards this woman.

 

"You can give a suggestion. Because I was thinking of giving the title 'shorty'. Or maybe 'midget', 'insufferable chibi', or-- hey!" She stopped, giggling like a school girl when she felt him squeeze her hip. "That tickles."

 

"That's a lovely sound," he commented, smirking. "I may be short but you fell for this shorty, you brat."

 

"Yeah, I know. And I don't regret it," she kissed his nose. "I'll entitle it 'Levi'."

 

"Why not 'Live' instead? The syllables can be arranged into my name or that word, you know."

 

"Hmm. Live... Levi," she tested.

 

As Mikasa pronounced the words, he remembered the time when Hanji told him about his name and that word. It didn't really made any sense to him, but now it does, and he was glad that Mikasa was the eye opener. He kissed her again, earning a blush from the raven-haired girl.

 

"Yes, baby. For you, I'll live."

 

\--------------------

 

For the past few weeks, the change in Levi was noticeable. Every day, Mikasa was with him, never leaving his side and helping him with the little things that he can't do anymore. One night, however, she was awakened when he patted her arm, and she sat up quickly. Levi was sweating and coughing non-stop. He held Mikasa's arm tightly, struggling to breathe between his coughs.

 

"I. Can't. Breathe. Hos... pital."

 

That's when she scrambled to her feet, grabbing her phone as she called the ambulance. She called Christa right after, giving quick instructions and quick information.

 

Within two hours, Levi found himself in a hospital bed, flinching at the faint scent of medicine despite the nasal tube that was attached to his nose. He felt easier to breathe then, as his eyes scanned all over the place. It was a large room, all white and clean. Levi had manage to smile inwardly, thinking that she must have chosen a really expensive hospital to maintain this cleanliness. His eyes dropped to the needle impaled on his skin, and that's when he saw her by his side, his face rested on the bed as she was sitting on a white chair, eye closed. He tried to touch her head, but she opened her eyes immediately when she felt him move.

 

"Hey," he greeted.

 

"Hey," she smiled, her eyes glistening.

 

"What time is it?"

 

She glanced over her wristwatch. "Five fifteen in the morning."

 

"Oh. Are you alright?" He thought about the trouble he caused her, feeling suddenly guilty. He knows that he would be a hindrance for her starting today.

 

"I should ask you that, you know." Mikasa frowned but her eyes soft. "How are you feeling?"

 

"Still the same," he sighed. "I'm kind of grateful because of this thing that helps me breathe."

 

"Levi," she whispered, and that's when he saw tears running over her cheeks. "Levi..."

 

"Hey, don't cry. Don't cry," he coaxed, placing his hand over hers.

 

"I--" she placed her free hand over his, clasping it as she bowed her head. Her hair was covering her face but he knew that she was crying silently.

 

He didn't say anything, for he felt like he was going to cry in front of her too. He was afraid that if he says anything with a broken voice, he won't be able to hold back his own feelings. And besides, if he cries now, he'll only make things worse for him; clogging his nose with the unwanted fluid.

 

"Levi," she managed to say, wiping her cheeks with the back of her hand. "Looking back sometimes, I just think that we should have really seen a doctor before it became worse. I know I agreed and we talked about this, but sometimes I just..."

 

"Don't, baby, don't. It's alright," he cajoled her, his voice on the edge of breaking. "I know the consequences. What I need now is your strength to fight."

 

"It hurts me inside. Even though I know that's so hard on your part, I can't even stop crying. I'm so weak when it comes to this."

 

"Listen to me. No, you're not. You're a strong woman, okay? It's just that the pain is part of learning who you are," he inhaled, welcoming the oxygen. "I know what's next here, and I just wanted to tell you something before worse things comes to worse."

 

"You should rest. You can tell me later," she reassured him, taking his hand and bringing it up to kiss his knuckles. "I won't go anywhere. Christa's coming over here to supply food and medicine anyway."

 

He wanted to tell her about it now, the real reason why he's here. He wanted to tell her to live life to the fullest and find a good man. He wanted to, but his own body rejected it. Levi was feeling weak and he just wanted to sleep. So he closed his eyes slowly, swallowing before saying, "okay."

 

\--------------------

 

"How is he?" Christa asked Mikasa in a low voice, thinking that she might wake Levi up. She had to flinch though, seeing Levi all pale and thin in a hospital bed wearing a hospital gown. There were black circles under his eyes, and the blue veins visible against his almost white skin.

 

"He says he feels the same," Mikasa answered with an equal low voice, gaze locked on the sleeping figure in front of her.

 

"What did the doctor say?"

 

Mikasa gave a sigh as she brought her hands on either side of her temples, trying to remember what Dr. Erwin Smith told her. Bringing it back, she told her the details as simple as she could, her face falling as she realized that there wasn't any positive thing that the doctor had reported.

 

"Christa, I don't know what to do," she admitted, looking at her friend this time. "If he runs out of breath, if his body can't take it anymore, would I still want him to be revived? He's weak and pale and thin," her voice trailed off.

 

"Have you guys talked about it?" Christa came close to Mikasa, squeezing her shoulder to bring her comfort. "Did he tell you what he wants?"

 

"No," she sniffed. "Not yet."

 

"If he decides with a no, will you accept it?"

 

"A no?"

 

"No to reviving and stuff."

 

Mikasa flinched. "I don't know. I don't think I can lose him now."

 

"I understand. But Mikasa, you have to think of his sake."

 

"I am, I am. It's just that," she sniffed, feeling her eyes burn once again. "I just can't lose him so soon. It's been a short time yet I feel like I've known him all my life, you know?"

 

"Yes." Christa gave her a hug then, caressing her hair to give her reassurance.

 

 

After a few hours, Levi woke up, finding Mikasa closing the door behind her. He tried to move his arms and legs then, bringing himself to sit up as he flinched at the stiffness of his muscles. Mikasa jogged to him, helping him sit up.

 

"Take it easy, old man," she said. Levi looked up to her face, seeing her swollen eyelids and slightly, red nose.

 

"You've been crying," he says softly, tucking a lost hair strand behind her ear as his thumb touched her cheek.

 

Mikasa smiled sadly, hating her own weakness. "Yeah. Christa just left and we had a talk."

 

"Oh?"

 

"Levi, do you want to be resuscitated? I mean, if ever your heart gives out--"

 

"No," he shook his head, his eyes never leaving hers. She looked horrified then, biting her lip as she broke their gaze.

 

"O-okay," she muttered.

 

Mikasa felt like her whole world starting to crumbling right in front of her, hope leaving her heart completely. She already knew what his answer was, yet she couldn't bring herself to accept it just yet. He told her time and again, that he would want to be with her for long. He reassured her, comforted her. There were a lot of things that she wanted to say, but when she opened her mouth again, all she could manage to say was, "I love you."

 

Levi took her arm, tugging her as he moved over to a side, giving space for her to climb in. "No, the nurse might see us," she said.

 

"And what? Capture a photograph, upload it on the internet and get a lot of bullshit? Like I give a fuck," he replied. She smiled then, listening to him as she removed her shoes before climbing on the bed with him.

 

"I forgot I was with a tough shorty here," she chuckled.

 

"Aren't you glad to have him back?" He kissed her forehead, snaking his arm around her waist like they used to when they would cuddle on his sofa or his bed.

 

"I very much am, to be honest."

 

"Hmm."

 

"What was it that you were going to say?"

 

"Have you eaten yet?"

 

"Levi," she complained.

 

"I just wanted to know if you already ate before I tell you a bedtime story," he smiled weakly.

 

"It's only quarter to eight, daddy," she joked.

 

"Oh. Then fine, I'll still tell you a story."

 

Her interest focused on him, curiosity striking her. Levi sighed, closing his eyes as if he was trying to struggle with himself. He opened his eyes and stared into space.

 

"There was this guy who, in his opinion, lived a rather dull life. He did all forms of entertainment since he was a teenager, depending on nothing but himself and his own abilities. One day, as he was smoking a cigarette in an old, abandoned factory, he was cornered by a bunch of thugs who wanted to kill him. It turns out that the guy has an unpaid debt from the gang's leader, killing him on the spot. The last thing that this guy saw was his killer's smile, happy to finally put an end to his life," he remembered Kenny's face, scowling as he pushed the thought away. "The guy who died woke up in a dark place, thinking that it was hell. That's when he heard a voice, telling him that he's giving the guy another chance. Supposedly, the dead guy was going to hell but the guardian of the gates of heaven took pity on him, giving him a task that he needs to fulfill in order to go to heaven. Living in another life was like a challenge for the dead guy, and he couldn't wait to get started. However, since he was an active smoker, he had to walk on earth with shitty lungs," he glanced over to Mikasa, taking in her face which shows interest in what he has to say.

 

"His task was to save this girl before she commits suicide. He found her. At first all he wanted was to get over with the job, but it was wrong of him to do that. A messenger from heaven was sent, telling him that he shouldn't save her because he was assigned to, because it was selfish. The guy had to save this girl, because he wanted to. Eventually, the guy found himself falling in love with this girl, and was confused with his own feelings because he has to save her, not fall in love with her. But you know what? He didn't regret it," Levi held Mikasa's hand tight as he continued, "In fact, he was happy that he made the decision to live his life with her instead, rather than distancing himself from her and focusing on his job."

 

"Levi," Mikasa's eyebrows furrowed, as if he didn't understand.

 

"Don't think about this too hard. It's really just simple."

 

"What happened to the guy in the end?" She asked softly after a few minutes, as if she understood what he meant.

 

"Who knows? His story hasn't ended yet," he gave her a smile; a true and genuine smile. "Even I, myself, am looking forward to how his story will end."

 

"I wish he would have a happy ending."

 

"I'm sure he will."

 

Mikasa hugged Levi, burying her face from the crook where his neck and shoulders met, inhaling his scent as she closed her eyes. He held her too, even though he couldn't hold her tight since he was feeling weak. I'm looking forward with seeing the girl live her life, continuing her journey without the guy.

 

The following minutes, they were lying beside each other, telling the other new stories about their own pasts. They held each other's hands as Levi listened all the time, his attention never leaving her. When she talked about music, that's when he opened his mouth to make his share of their conversation.

 

"There's this song that I wanted to sing to you for some time now," he confessed. "But I couldn't bring myself to do so because it might make you sad."

 

"Even though it'll make me sad, I would want to hear you sing it. Music magnifies a person's emotions anyway, right?"

 

He snorted, giving a light cough. "I'm fine. And yeah, I should probably listen to you since you're a singer and you know music better than I do," he smirked.

 

"Yeah, you better do. Now, sing for me, my little man."

 

"'My little man?'"

 

She laughed. "Yes. At least know that there's that possessive word 'my' before the other two words."

 

"Tch. Whatever, brat," he rolled his eyes but he wasn't mad anyway. In fact, he liked that idea. "Do you know The Click Five? Oh yes, of course you do."

 

"I do, but I'm not really much of a fan. Don't tell me you are?" She sounded amused and surprised all at once.

 

"Not really. But there's that song that I really liked. And I'm going to sing it for you," he said, pulling her closer to him.

 

"Our separation has its faults

But I don't wanna leave it all.

So wrap the letters in teary ink,

I just need some time to think.

And I just need some time to breathe."

 

Levi pronounced each word in an almost audible whisper, his voice raspy and rough against his throat. He still sang the words with his might, despite the fact that he should limit talking since he won't have too much trouble breathing. Mikasa listened to him, realizing that he possessed a really good voice and found herself loving him sing.

 

"Baby, just say good night

I'll be gone tomorrow.

Baby, just close your eyes

I can't take the sorrow.

Baby, just walk away..."

 

Levi held her face, tipping her chin up to meet his gaze.

 

"You know I can't stay.

There's no easy way to say good bye,

So baby, just say good night."

 

Levi finished his song, giving her lips a quick peck as he placed an arm over her stomach. Mikasa felt that Levi was telling her something, using that song to tell her about what he feels. She bit her lip, trying to process the lyrics.

 

"I will definitely add that to my playlist."

 

"I'm glad you will," she felt him smile. "Every day, we'll say goodnight to each other before sleeping. Okay?"

 

"Okay."

 

That night, both of them felt relieved and alive. Levi, on his part, felt these feelings since he finally told her something that he wanted to say. It seems that she was confused at first, but she didn't ask any questions further about it. It's as if she understood them well, making his heart suddenly light weight. Mikasa, on her part, felt these feelings since it was a few days ago when Levi was being himself. She felt that she got into him more, leaning to his touch and moving closer to him. She felt sated just like this, holding his hand with hers as she laid beside him.

 

Before she completely fell asleep, Levi brought her to reality. "Mikasa?"

 

"Hmm?"

 

"Will you promise me one thing?"

 

"Promise is a big word."

 

"I know. But can you do it for me?"

 

"Yes, I can. I'll try."

 

"Don't try. Do it. Do it because you can."

 

"Hmm. Alright. What is it?"

 

"If I die, don't take your own life. Whatever happens, keep living on. Because in the end, we would still see each other. It's just that I have to go first because my contract has ended," he said. "Promise me, you'll live your life. Promise me you'll live up to the same letters used to spell my name."

 

Mikasa's earlier drowsiness melted, making her pull away slightly to look at him. He looked serious enough, a troubled look in his eyes. She touched his throat, running her forefinger over his Adam’s apple.

 

"Okay. I promise."

 

The troubled look on Levi's eyes vanished and from what she could see, they looked appeased. "I'm glad. Thank you," he said.

 

"Can we go to sleep now?"

 

"Yes. Good night."

 

"Good night. I love you."

 

"I love you."

 

\--------------------

 

For the following days, Levi and Mikasa spent all of their hours inside a hospital room. Levi wasn't really getting well, and he had to wear an oxygen mask instead of a nasal tube since he needed more oxygen to breathe. He couldn't speak that much now, but he would always remove his mask whenever he would say goodnight to Mikasa and tell her that he loves her.

 

Both of them knew that he wouldn't last long, and while Levi was sure that he'll die anytime this week, Mikasa was oblivious to that. So when Mikasa stood by Levi's side, tossing her jacket from the foot of the bed, Levi moved his hand weakly, as if trying to reach out to her. She noticed, and she quickly took his hand. Mikasa's heart clenched when she realized that his arm has really lost weight, and that he looked paler than usual. His breathing had become shallower, making her feel a sudden panic. She looked at him. "Levi?"

 

"Mi... kasa..."

 

The beeps from the cardiac monitor are getting slow as Levi's eyelids dropped. With that, Mikasa ran and called the nurse despite the talk that they already had about the resuscitation and reviving procedures. She got back, nurses tailing after her. Levi wasn't breathing anymore, the cardiac machine giving off a straight, long beep.

 

As the nurses worked to revive Levi, Mikasa couldn't do anything but just watch. She was stunned because it all happened so fast; she was horrified when she saw how Levi's body didn't give any response as the nurses used a defibrillator, looking dead and chances of bringing him back seemed hopeless. She felt numb all over, unable to speak or move or do anything at all. However, her brain was working overtime, her heart pounding hard on her chest as she gave hollow breaths. She remembered Christa’s words back when they were just starting their career: ‘They say you die twice. One time, when you stop breathing and a second time, a bit later, when somebody says your name for the last time.’ Why was she remembering that now? There was one thing that she did even though everything seemed in chaos; she prayed.

 

Please, give him back. Please. Please.

 

 

“Levi, wake up.”

 

Levi opened his eyes at the sound of that familiar voice that called to him, suddenly finding himself in the same dark place weeks ago. He was seated on a white bench, yet he wasn’t alone. Glancing at the figure from his left, he saw a familiar man that took him seconds to recognize who he was.

 

“Dr. Erwin Smith,” he muttered.

 

Erwin, clad in his hospital uniform, was sitting beside him, his arms resting on his lap. He looked calm and collected like he always does whenever he visits him to check his condition. He was smiling at him, as if giving him assurance about something.

 

“You probably know that it’s me who monitored your health even though I’m the one who’s supposed to take you,” he said.

 

“Yes,” Levi replied, and looked around him to check if they were alone.

 

“Mikasa’s praying and crying for you,” Erwin’s voice was soft, looking straight ahead as if he was watching a scene.

 

Levi turned his head to see what the blonde was looking, gasping when he saw Mikasa frozen into her place, hands to her side as tears fell from her cheeks. It didn’t take long before she brought her hands to her face, breaking down silently. From somewhere in that dark place, he heard Mikasa’s voice.

 

Please, give him back. Please. Please.

 

“Mikasa—“

 

I love him. I don’t think I can continue this journey without him by my side. It’s selfish, childish and silly but please, give him back to me. Let me borrow him until I breathe my last.

 

“She’s been praying for you ever since she discovered you were sick,” Erwin said, exhaling. “And for the record, you did too.”

 

Levi was silent, his mouth slack as he tried to listen to Mikasa’s voice once again. He stared down at his hands, trying to scatter his dissipated wit. “Will you take me now? Have I saved her?”

 

“Yes.”

 

The shorter man looked at Erwin, feeling heat creeping up to his eyes as he spoke in a soft voice, “Can I go back to her?”

 

“Levi…”

 

“Please. Please let me go back to her. Please let me be with her,” the desperation in his voice was obvious. “I love her. I’d do anything again just to go back to her,” he shifted in his seat. “You can give me another task and I’ll gladly do it. You can send me to hell instead in the future; I’m willing to do that! Just please,” Levi dropped on his knees in front of Erwin, his head low as he felt tears falling from his grayish-blue eyes. “I want to live with her.”

 

Erwin stared at Levi with pity in his eyes; his blonde eyebrows furrowed and his mouth turned into a frown. This is the first time that Levi has ever kneeled and begged in front of someone, and to top it all, he was crying. He felt the sincerity in his heart, and not only him, but also Mikasa’s. Both hearts were asking for one thing; their prayers and the pure change in both of them pushed Erwin to a decision he knew that he wouldn’t regret.

 

 

The long, straight monotone sound coming from the cardiac monitor broke into a short beep, startling Mikasa. “We got him!” One of the nurses exclaimed. Mikasa tilted her head up, peeking through her fingers to see if she didn’t misheard. She saw Levi’s chest rise and fall, the movement alone was enough to pull her up from her despair. After a few minutes of absorbing the fact that he was revived, Mikasa let out a sigh. She could feel the joy inside her, and like awhile ago, she didn’t do anything but pray.

 

Thank you, thank you so much. Thank you.

 

From a distance, a few meters away from Levi’s room, Erwin smiled. He ran a hand over his hair as he stared into the black sky, admiring the stars that shone. He could feel the peace in their hearts from where he is now. Licking his lips as he felt the cold breeze brushing through him, closed his eyes and muttered, “You’re welcome.”

 

\--------------------

 

Epilogue:

 

After parking the car, Levi took out a picnic basket and an ice box from the trunk, carrying them both with all his strength as he made way to where Mikasa was stood. She was wearing a simple white dress and a beautiful hat made from straw as she looked at the horizon, welcoming the cool breeze that washed over her. She took out a thick blanket from the black backpack she was carrying, settling it on the grassy ground. They sat beside each other; Mikasa taking out a sandwich from the picnic basket as Levi took out their bottled juice.

 

“I packed a thermos and five tea bags for you back on the trunk,” Mikasa said as she studied Levi’s face, waiting for a reaction. She didn’t got anything from him but a raised eyebrow.

 

“I’d like some juice with you, please. I can have tea later,” Levi replied, taking his sandwich and placing her juice right in front of her.

 

Mikasa’s laughter gave Levi the satisfaction he wanted. It’s been two years after he recovered from his illness and he thanked all divine providence for listening to his request. That was also the last time he saw Erwin, back at the hospital. Miraculously, he managed to recover, although not completely. He never smoked again, and he always monitored his health. He and Mikasa had been married six months ago, Levi proposing to her instead of him saying yes to her previous proposal. Levi still worked in the bar, and Mikasa continued her career in a smooth manner. She was seldom stressed, taking Christa and Levi’s advice to take it easy. And right now, he couldn’t ask for more now that she was four weeks pregnant with their first child.

 

After minutes of talking about their plans for the next couple of days, Levi hugged Mikasa from behind, his right hand flat on her stomach as his other stayed in place on her waist. He kissed her shoulder, earning a soft moan from her.

 

“Do you still remember that story I told you years ago? About the guy who died and was sent to Earth again?” Levi asked.

 

“I never forgot,” she replied. “I guess he got a happy ending, hmm?” He heard the glee in her voice.

 

“Yes, I guess he did. And they were really happy together.”

 

“Like us. I think they want nothing more.”

 

“Precisely,” he closed his eyes as he smiled. “Thank you for bearing with me, and for bearing me a child.”

 

“Thank you for saving me back then, Levi. I’m glad I decided to rebel that night.” Mikasa placed her hand on his. “I love you.”

 

“And I love you,” he replied.

 

Happiness overflowed in their hearts.

\---

x

**  
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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think. c: And this is the first fic that I've written with a large number of word count. If you managed to read this until the end, I salute. My bby [Susu](http://swag-chou.tumblr.com/) is back and this has been edited! Thank you for reading. c:

**Author's Note:**

> Reviews are totally welcome, bbys. You can also hit me up on [tumblr](http://jigz-anyapie.tumblr.com).


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